IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what are the effects?

#people #countryside #cities #movement #effects
Today the great majority of people are moving to urgent areas
instead
 of rural ones, which causes problems with overpopulation. I do have an opinion, that there are many reasons
as well as
 possible effects of that trend Let us start by looking at the reasons why the population still continue to move out from villages.
Firstly
, it is the scarcity of workplaces and other facilities as well, which ordinary citizens usually have. If we compare the city and the village, the salaries in the rural areas tend to be lower. Another problem is about obligations:
due to
 the lack of workplaces the main source of villagers' income is agriculture.
However
, it is easier for many of us to work in an office rather than grow plants or look after animals. Turning to another point, it is obvious that the possible consequences of that trend may be detrimental. Except from congestion, cities will face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of natural things,
such
 as milk, eggs and meat. Of course, it can be produced by factories, but the quality would be worse. Another issue is the increased amount of violence. By statistics, many redneck people find it difficult to live in modern conditions, and their way to communicate is different from
city-dwellers'
Correct your spelling
city-dwellers
 way.
Consequently
, conflicts between them become a usual thing. Taking everything into consideration, I would say that many of us can face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different problems connected with the relocation of villagers and we must do something to help them to avoid these problems.
Submitted by aida.ai2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: