IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#computers #part #school #lessons #outweigh
In the cutting edge-era technology is utilized in different parts of society to achieve a high level of life and make it too easy. The using of computers has become an important part of school lessons.
This
 essay will focus on the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 sort of technology which are listed below. On the one hand, learning with a computer can save time in getting information on every task because artificial intelligence (AI) makes everything faster than before.
For instance
, nowadays chat GPT most popular, and children can study with
this
 AI and ask any question to get the best result in a few seconds.
Furthermore
, how to use a PC is essential It is necessary for the future of children so that's better for them to learn with a fresh and ready mind.
For example
, in any job some sort of application
such
 as Powerpoint, Word and Exel is necessary and a basic app so you must know how to work with them.
On the other hand
, overusing computers without any limitations causes issues followed by health problems. References show that utilising any sort of technology for more than 3 hours during a day reason you to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
weak vision.
Additionally
, doing all of the lessons with computers makes them lazy and it is caused by mental fatigue.
For instance
, in mathematics class students must solve the math questions by themselves so using a calculator is useless.
To sum up
, in my point of view the usage of modern learning methods needs a regular schedule to make it safe for students.
Submitted by shokri.hananeh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Consider providing a more detailed introduction that clearly outlines the advantages and disadvantages discussed in the essay. This will enhance the reader's anticipation and understanding of the essay's structure.
Coherence
To enhance coherence, use a broader range of cohesive devices. Although the essay flows well, varying sentence connectors and transitions can strengthen the cohesion and coherence of your essay.
Conclusion
While your discussion of advantages and disadvantages is balanced, integrating a succinct but comprehensive conclusion that encapsulates your viewpoint more strongly could further elevate your essay. Restating key points succinctly helps reaffirm your stance to the reader.
Examples
Effective use of specific examples, such as the use of AI in education, which helps in reinforcing your arguments.
Argumentation
Good demonstration of balanced argumentation, showcasing the advantages and disadvantages effectively.
Organization
Clear structure and organization; each paragraph discusses a distinct aspect without confusion, making it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!