In many countries, the levels of obesity and related health problems are increasing rapidly. What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what solutions can you suggest?

#countries #levels #obesity #health

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People

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should be aware of the danger of eating unhealthy which leads them to face some health problems. There is,

however

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, an increasing tendency in the rates of

obesity

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and related health issues. Some of the potential reasons and possible solutions to

this

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concern will be discussed in

this

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essay. The reasons for

this

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concern seem to be quite simple.

Firstly

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, one of the most considerable causes is having a sedentary lifestyle. To elaborate, technological advancements facilitate human

labor

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labour

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thus

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making them lazier.

Hence

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, they do not need to do household chores, and because of

this

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, lack of physical activities results in

obesity

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across the globe. Another reason to consider is that

obesity

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and related health problems stem from eating unhealthy. In the modern world, numerous high-calorie

foods

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such

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as fast

foods

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, junk-

foods

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are pervasive in that almost everyone has access to these

foods

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, and after work, they do not have much time to cook,

as a result

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, they go to MC, KFC, etc. To encourage

people

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to have a healthy body, governments should provide individuals with free sports facilities, where

people

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can exercise easily.

Additionally

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, knowledge about how

obesity

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can affect our bodies can be thought to reduce

obesity

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rates. The solution to the second reason is to go on a diet. Thanks to a balanced diet,

people

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can lose their weight, thereby making them healthier.

Furthermore

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this

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problem can be addressed by improving access to affordable fresh produce and nutritious

foods

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through initiatives

such

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as farmers' markets, community gardens, and healthy food retail programs in underserved areas.

To sum up

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, It is the lack of awareness about how being overweight is dangerous and is not to do physical activity.

In addition

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, there are some solutions to tackle

this

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concern

such

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as increasing knowledge, going on a diet, and improving access to affordable fresh produce.

Submitted by writingbhos on Sun Apr 21 2024

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Introduction structure

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your main ideas and viewpoints on the topic, setting a strong foundation for your essay.

Paragraph development

Focus on developing each paragraph with a clear main idea, followed by explanations and examples. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.

Cohesion

Incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas and improve cohesion within and between paragraphs.

Task response depth

To boost task achievement, aim for a more detailed exploration of the causes and solutions with specific examples and explanation. This will demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic and provide a more persuasive argument.

Structure

The essay provides a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is commendable.

Task completeness

The essay tackles both the causes and solutions to the problem, fulfilling the task requirements.

Examples

Your efforts to include specific examples, such as mentioning fast food chains and suggesting practical solutions like free sports facilities and diets, contribute positively to addressing the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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In many countries, the levels of obesity and related health problems are increasing rapidly. What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what solutions can you suggest?

Your opinion

The internet isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that non academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate only on academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Christ offers light to our lives. Think about areas in your own lives that need more light.

Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, govenments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?