Some educationists think that international exchange visits will benefit the teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In my opinion, education is all about encouraging children to build positive relationships with other kids and the
world
as well as
helping them learn necessary skills they will find useful when they start their careers. In
this
respect, I strongly believe that teenagers should spend time with a foreign country or culture and interact with the local
people
. Needless to say, we cannot turn a blind eye to the financial costs involved, so we have to work on
this
problem to support children making the most of
this
opportunity that their schools provide. Since the
world
has been becoming smaller and smaller with globalisation and digitization, it is highly likely that
future
generations will be urged to cooperate with
people
from abroad to tackle a myriad of problems. If they spend time overseas,
then
they will not just be able to learn languages but establish good, constructive relationships with members of other societies because that's what they learn through international exchange visits. In order to describe how effective and meaningful cultural exchanges between students can be, I would like to take a military conflict
for
Change preposition
as
show examples
an example. Unfortunately, you might not spend a day without watching a news programme that reports a war in which many civilians
as well as
soldiers are killed daily.
However
,
people
are intrinsically peaceful. No one would want to kill their friends with whom they spent time at school. No one would want to wage a war against their fellow
world
citizens with whom they discussed how to make the
world
a better place to live. As regards
this
issue, I am quite positive about the conscience we share. More international exchange programmes will lead to
future
generations building a better, more peaceful
world
. Having said that, not everyone can afford to study abroad. If we are to stop the wars that are being fought
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and prevent another from breaking out,
then
we should invest much more money into education. There are a lot of things we could do to make
this
ideal an achievable goal. One is the commitment the government makes to assisting in and enriching teenage education, because
due to
the sense of security and hope the policies offer, more married couples will decide to have a family. Another is fairer tax systems where billionaires and big corporations who make an outrageous killing pay their fair shares, which in turn will be invested in the
future
of today's teenagers and
future
generations, to create a planet where we work for the same goals. In conclusion, it is ideal for teenagers to go to another country or culture and learn a lot through communicating with the local
people
.
This
cannot only widen their own horizons and help them understand the
world
better
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
promote our country
as well as
the whole
world
to flourish and thrive.
Submitted by nakanotaku1981 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: