in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before . Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Others believe there are benefits is society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantage of having old aged people outweigh the disadvantages

In recent years, human life expectancy has significantly increased compared with earlier decades. Whilst some argue that elderly people place a burden on the government, others contend that it is a beneficial development for society. I believe the advantages of having the elderly far outweigh the disadvantages, and I will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, an ageing population helps society in numerous ways
due to
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their wisdom and life
experience
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. By not only sharing but
also
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guiding, older adults can offer their extensive
experience
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and knowledge to the next generation.
For example
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, in almost all fields,
such
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as medicine, architecture, and engineering, only those workers with extensive
experience
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that exceeds fifteen years can provide comprehensive training to new employees, which shows how valuable seniors are in the workforce.
Moreover
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, in many cases, families rely on grandparents to care for young children
while
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parents work.
On the other hand
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, senior citizens pose some challenges for healthcare services.
This
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means that as a population ages, health and mental health issues increase, leading to a significant drain on hospital resources and staff.
For instance
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, a 2023 study in France showed that older patients make up 72% of total patients, indicating a large share of healthcare expenditure devoted to older adults.
Furthermore
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, most senior citizens tend to take part-time jobs because of their reduced physical capacity, which can potentially slow economic growth and threaten government finances.
To conclude
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,
although
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an ageing population has certain drawbacks, I am convinced that the benefits are more substantial. Passing on in-depth
experience
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and training to the next generation and supervising grandchildren cannot occur without older adults.

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task response
Your view is clear and you answer the task well. You show both sides and give reasons and examples.
task response
Try to add a stronger final idea. The last line can be more firm and link back to your start.
coherence cohesion
Flow of the essay is good. Use small steps to move from one idea to the next, and keep each paragraph about one main point.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are long. Short sentences can be easier to read and keep your meaning clear.
strength
Clear view that advantages outweigh the drawbacks.
strength
Good start and clear structure with two body parts.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging
  • elderly
  • old
  • young
  • people
  • population
  • government
  • policy
  • plan
  • pension
  • health
  • care
  • cost
  • money
  • tax
  • budget
  • work
  • job
  • skill
  • experience
  • help
  • mentor
  • volunteer
  • family
  • community
  • society
  • life
  • grow
  • retire
  • retirement
  • age
  • balance
  • rise
  • save
  • spend
  • raise
  • problem
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • benefit
  • harm
  • solution
  • policy
  • future
  • support
  • service
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