some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particulat species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important envirnmental problems. discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is a fact that are obliged to deal with many environmental obstacles. Many of them tend to believe that the most crucial of all problems, is the elimination of some animal and plant species,
while
Linking Words
some others accused that there are more essential problems corresponding to the environment. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will demonstrate both aspects and place my thoughts about them.
Due to
Linking Words
some research, it can be clearly seen, that the extinction of some kind of flora and fauna is resulting in great negative issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, a disruption in the food chain might lead to excessive growth
in particular
Linking Words
species, leading to the proliferation of some infections. If,
for example
Linking Words
, there is an elimination of cats, that might result in an outgrowth of different reptiles, like rats and snakes.
Thus
Linking Words
, there will be a strike in typhus disease and many poisonous biting incidences for snakes, that might set humanity in danger.
In addition
Linking Words
, it has been proved, that trees tend to consume our CO2 and exchange it with O2.
In other words
Linking Words
, if there is a loss of trees
due to
Linking Words
excessive construction, that might lead to asphyxia , and even people need a supporting device to maintain their O2 levels. Despite
this
Linking Words
, others, myself included, claim that there are more harmful environmental issues. Indeed, our planet suffers from massive climate changes, affected by the greenhouse effect. Scientists prove that there is an obvious trend in temperatures, resulting in the melting of ice, in which
consequently
Linking Words
there is an increase in the sea level. If that happened,
then
Linking Words
some regions might get vanished from the global map. In my point of view, global warming
together with
Linking Words
climate change are in fact the most crucial environmental aspects that people have to deal with In conclusion,
elimination
Correct article usage
the elimination
show examples
of animal species or plants
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has a great impact on the planet, but the greenhouse effect is way more important with much more negative results
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
humanity, so
that is
Linking Words
worth giving attention to and trying to minimise it.
Submitted by nikoletta.louka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by clearly organizing the essay into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction could be more engaging and clearly state the position of the writer on the topic.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points about the environmental issues discussed.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: