Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In the contemporary world, environmental pollution and housing issues have contributed to the deterioration of public
health
, and some people believe that governments should develop initiatives to address these challenges.
While
I agree with
this
sentiment to a large extent, I am inclined to believe that compelling outcomes will not be readily evident by simply concentrating on solving environmental contamination and housing challenges.
To begin
, it is undeniable that the dire quality of air and water is one of the major factors in the degradation of public wellness. In metropolitan areas, rampant air and water adulteration, stemming from industrial activities and urbanization processes, leads to chronic diseases.
For instance
, the Ganges River in India correlates with severe ailments, including cholera, dysentery, and hepatitis.
due to
the overwhelming amount of industrial and human waste discharged into the river.
Additionally
, inefficiencies in housing schemes exacerbate the issues of overpopulation and poor living conditions, leading to a lack of adequate sanitation, ventilation, and essential services.
Consequently
, these densely populated
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples
become breeding grounds for disease vectors
such
as mosquitoes and fleas.
Therefore
, if governments put more emphasis on mitigating environmental issues and housing dilemmas,
such
problems will be alleviated to a great extent.
Nevertheless
, simply focusing on environmental and housing complications is not an effective way to combat all illnesses. It is imperative to recognize that, alongside these efforts, the government should prioritize raising public awareness and implementing educational programs.
Furthermore
, the promotion of robust lifestyles can encourage people to adopt healthy habits. To illustrate, a campaign in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, called upon the local citizens to incorporate a daily 30-minute morning walk into their routines.
As a result
, the participants reported noticeable improvements in their mental and physical
health
.
In other words
, by enriching the population’s knowledge about
health
and prompting them to live a more active lifestyle, the government not only lowers disease-related mortality rates but
also
eases the burden on its healthcare system.
To conclude
, it is pivotal for governments to come up with initiatives to tackle obstacles posed by pollution and housing inefficiency in order to improve the population’s
health
.
However
, the underlying problems are not limited to those conundrums, and the population itself
also
plays a crucial role.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying sentence structures to enhance readability and keep the reader engaged.
Task Achievement
Try to integrate more precise examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay remains focused on the prompt throughout, avoiding any drift into less relevant areas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Review and refine your introduction and conclusion to more clearly state your position and summarize key points, reinforcing the essay's message.
Language Use
Effectively uses a range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, which makes the essay interesting to read.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintains a clear line of argumentation throughout, which aids in delivering a coherent narrative.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view by recognizing the importance of governmental initiatives while also highlighting the role of personal responsibility in achieving health outcomes.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
What to do next:
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