Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Traveling
around the world Change the spelling
Travelling
have
become a trend in recent years. Some experts reckon that the increasing frequency of worldwide journeys might cause a negative shock to the environment, Correct subject-verb agreement
has
therefore
, they think it should be limited. Personally, I agree with this
opinion, and the following content will list out
my reasons.
The emission of Change preposition
apply
the
pollution Correct article usage
apply
were
left Unnecessary verb
apply
to
the local areas Change preposition
in
have
surged Correct subject-verb agreement
has
in
these days. Change preposition
apply
The tourism
did bring some short-term benefits to the local residents, Correct article usage
Tourism
however
, the influence and the damage to the environment are long-term, in other words
, it might be forever. For instance
, there was a small village called Tainan, it
was known for Correct pronoun usage
which
good
quality Correct pronoun usage
its good
of
agriculture and breathtaking natural scenery, they had recently expanded the business for Change preposition
apply
the
visitors. The village earned more money than ever, but the natural scenery Correct article usage
apply
were
replaced by plenty of artificial items and Change the verb form
was
the
agriculture Correct article usage
apply
were
affected by rubbish and Change the verb form
was
the
pollution.
Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, the invasion to
cultural background should Change preposition
of
also
be noticed. Traveling around the world, which
not only Correct pronoun usage
apply
cause
pollution but Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
also
let
local culture Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
fading
out the history. Wrong verb form
fade
For example
, some aboriginal tribes in Taiwan change
their way of living in order to develop tourist Wrong verb form
changed
business
, Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
such
as
, hunters didn’t hunt for Correct word choice
apply
the
food in the forest anymore, Correct article usage
apply
in contrast
, they chose to open a
grocery or Correct article usage
apply
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
store
in the mountain to provide food for visitors.
In conclusion, even though there is a few temporary benefit can bring inhabitants a better life. Fix the agreement mistake
stores
However
, the detrimental changes to the natural environment and the culture might be forever. As a result
, I strongly recommend the government should do something to settle down this
issue.Submitted by youn.21 on
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Grammar
Recheck your verb conjugations and make sure they agree with the subject. E.g. 'have become' should be 'has become', 'were left' should be 'is left'.
Structure
Make sure to keep your sentences concise and to the point. Avoid run-on sentences, they can be confusing and make your point less clear.
Vocabulary
Work on the use of articles. For example, 'the invasion to cultural background' should be 'the invasion of cultural backgrounds' or 'damage to the cultural background'.
Grammar
Use the correct prepositions. E.g. 'bring inhabitants a better life' should be 'bring inhabitants better lives' or 'improve the lives of inhabitants'.
Content
Make sure to provide clear and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.