Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
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around the world
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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become a trend in recent years. Some experts reckon that the increasing frequency of worldwide journeys might cause a negative shock to the environment,
therefore
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, they think it should be limited. Personally, I agree with
this
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opinion, and the following content will list
out
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apply
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my reasons. The emission of
the
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apply
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pollution
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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left
to
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in
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the local areas
have
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has
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surged
in
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apply
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these days.
The tourism
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Tourism
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did bring some short-term benefits to the local residents,
however
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, the influence and the damage to the environment are long-term,
in other words
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, it might be forever.
For instance
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, there was a small village called Tainan,
it
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which
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was known for
good
Correct pronoun usage
its good
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quality
of
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apply
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agriculture and breathtaking natural scenery, they had recently expanded the business for
the
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apply
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visitors. The village earned more money than ever, but the natural scenery
were
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was
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replaced by plenty of artificial items and
the
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apply
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agriculture
were
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was
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affected by rubbish and
the
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apply
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pollution.
In addition
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, the invasion
to
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of
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cultural background should
also
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be noticed. Traveling around the world,
which
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apply
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not only
cause
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causes
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pollution but
also
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let
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lets
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local culture
fading
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fade
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out the history.
For example
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, some aboriginal tribes in Taiwan
change
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changed
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their way of living in order to develop tourist
business
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businesses
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,
such
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as
Correct word choice
apply
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, hunters didn’t hunt for
the
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apply
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food in the forest anymore,
in contrast
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, they chose to open
a
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apply
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grocery or
convenient
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convenience
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store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
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in the mountain to provide food for visitors. In conclusion, even though there is a few temporary benefit can bring inhabitants a better life.
However
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, the detrimental changes to the natural environment and the culture might be forever.
As a result
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, I strongly recommend the government should do something to settle down
this
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issue.
Submitted by youn.21 on

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Grammar
Recheck your verb conjugations and make sure they agree with the subject. E.g. 'have become' should be 'has become', 'were left' should be 'is left'.
Structure
Make sure to keep your sentences concise and to the point. Avoid run-on sentences, they can be confusing and make your point less clear.
Vocabulary
Work on the use of articles. For example, 'the invasion to cultural background' should be 'the invasion of cultural backgrounds' or 'damage to the cultural background'.
Grammar
Use the correct prepositions. E.g. 'bring inhabitants a better life' should be 'bring inhabitants better lives' or 'improve the lives of inhabitants'.
Content
Make sure to provide clear and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable travel
  • eco-friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • habitat destruction
  • cultural dilution
  • overcrowding
  • resource depletion
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • tourism ethics
  • green initiatives
  • conservation efforts
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