Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays clothing

are

Change the verb form

show examples

very expensive. Some

people

Use synonyms

agree and some of them disagree. In my opinion,

Fashion

Use synonyms

items are priceless,

this

Linking Words

is because it is not something easy to create it needs

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

creative thinking and

visual

Change the adjective

visually

show examples

appealing design which is not easy to do. I am particularly

Wrong verb form

accepting

show examples

the cost of any apparel because it

worth

Add a missing verb

is worth

show examples

the price. On the one hand, educated

people

Use synonyms

who have a

lot

Use synonyms

of knowledge know how the designer

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

lot

Use synonyms

of effort to create apparel.

For example

Linking Words

, how the designer

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

inspiration,

brainstorm

Correct subject-verb agreement

brainstorms

show examples

and

sketch

Correct subject-verb agreement

sketches

show examples

till they get

the

Correct article usage

show examples

creative unique concept.

Therefore

Linking Words

, educated

people

Use synonyms

believe that all of

Linking Words

this process

Fix the agreement mistake

these processes

show examples

are

time consuming

Add a hyphen

time-consuming

show examples

and it is priceless to buy

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good apparel.

On the other hand

Linking Words

un-educated

Correct your spelling

uneducated

show examples

people

Use synonyms

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

disrespect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fashion

Use synonyms

items and

dosen’t

Correct your spelling

doesn’t

give

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

any worth.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they don’t know the process of the item and how the designer

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

lot

Use synonyms

of time to create it.

For example

Linking Words

, there are a

lot

Use synonyms

of jackets and bags

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

made from crocodile and snake skin which is hard to find and very expensive to get.

Therefore

Linking Words

, not everything

are

Change the verb form

show examples

easy or cheap to create, which those

people

Use synonyms

don’t know. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

are high for some clothes and

fashion

Use synonyms

accessory

Fix the agreement mistake

accessories

show examples

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

it is worth the price.

People

Use synonyms

should respect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fashion

Use synonyms

items

instead

Linking Words

of complaining because it is

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

part

Change preposition

show examples

our life.

mneeraaljalahma

Oct 2, 2023

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Task Achievement

Provide more clear and comprehensive ideas about both views.

Task Achievement

Support your arguments with more relevant specific examples.

Lexical Resource

Use more varied and precise vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

socio-economic gap
impractical consumer behavior
overspending
accumulation of debt
materialism
superficial values
self-esteem
self-expression
psychological benefits
social benefits
quality of materials
craftsmanship
sustainable practices

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