IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #person #support
It is thought by some that when one commits a crime, he would stay criminal throughout his entire
life
. I,
however
, completely disagree with
this
 statement because sometimes people commit
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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in
Change preposition
under
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 the influence of a bad company
and
Correct word choice
apply
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to save their
life
. The primary reason can be that individuals may choose
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 people to be their friends, particularly at a young age. When they get
along with
 them, they get
involve
Change the form of the verb
involved
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 in
wrong doings
Correct your spelling
wrongdoings
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 too
such
 as intake of drugs, and
then
 just to manage their
addiction related
Add a hyphen
addiction-related
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 expenses, they perform wrong acts, which
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
Correct article usage
a results
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results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
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, make them
culprit
Fix the agreement mistake
culprits
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. A particularly good example here is Australia, where more teenagers are found guilty of robbery cases
due to
 their drug addiction.
This
 example vividly explains
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how the influence of bad company
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them criminal, even though, they do not have any criminal history before. Self-protection could be
the
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apply
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another cause
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when people commit
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
. If they encounter any situation, where another person tries to harm them, they act violently with the intention of saving their
life
.
This
 sometimes
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 them offender, if the attacker loses a
life
.
For instance
, recently an incident happened in India, where a woman was trying to protect herself from sexual assault
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when she used a weapon to save her from being victimized.
This
 incident labelled her as a criminal in the eyes of
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
, when the attacker got
harm
Wrong verb form
harmed
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 and lost his
life
. But in
reality
Add a comma
,reality
show examples
 it was a self-defence act. In conclusion,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 seems to me that
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
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 influence of others during
teenage
Add an article
the teenage
a teenage
show examples
 period and circumstances where one act violently for self-protection are situations that
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 a person criminal sometimes, but they are actually
decent
Add an article
a decent
the decent
show examples
 person in reality.
Submitted by meghnabawa91 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction could be improved by clearly stating the writer's opinion on the topic.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary and try to use idiomatic expressions to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on sentence structures to improve grammatical range and accuracy.
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