As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, the utilization of cyberspace has grown more and more prevalent, and some people perceive that

newspapers

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are gradually turning into outdated items. I reckon that

this

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is an inevitable trend because many of its functions have been replaced by the

Internet

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and it is not healthy to keep reading

newspapers

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Firstly

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newspapers

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no longer provide as many functions as we used to use them. We used to receive daily news from it,

nevertheless

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, the way we learn about new information has changed, with a smartphone, we are able to update things that happen in our lives anytime and anywhere we want.

Furthermore

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instead

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of seeking jobs in

newspapers

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, people these days seek jobs online, which offers more options and convenience. These positive features of the

Internet

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outweigh the role

newspapers

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play in our lives.

Secondly

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, the ink

that is

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used in

newspapers

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poses potential threats to our health. Studies have shown that ink can be poisonous to our bodies and surroundings

due to

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the lead it contains. Lead can cause metal toxicity, in the long term,

this

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not only affect people who work in newspaper factories but

also

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those who read

newspapers

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every day.

Besides

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, the volatiles of burning

newspapers

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emit into the air we breathe,

hence

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, the poison comes back to us again.

This

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harmful byproduct of ink forms chronic damage

Change preposition

show examples

our body. In conclusion, the emergence of the

Internet

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is a much better option than

newspapers

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for us in many aspects. The

Internet

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benefits us in gaining knowledge virtually and prevents us from touching toxic chemicals physically. I believe that

newspapers

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are behind the times and it is a good thing that it becomes a thing of the past.

wendy190427Wed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

To further enhance task achievement, provide more relevant specific examples or evidence to support your points, especially when discussing health risks associated with newspaper ink.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on improving the logical transitions between paragraphs. More smooth transitions will enhance the readability of your essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear and complete response to the prompt, discussing both the decline of newspapers and the rise of the Internet.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-written, giving a nice frame to the essay.

coherence cohesion

Main points are generally well-supported, especially the point on convenience and accessibility of the Internet.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Access
Convenient
Fast
Expensive
Wider range
News sources
Perspectives
Readership
Demographics
Physical
Tangible
Reading experience

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As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Many young people leave school with negative attitudes towards learning. What are the causes？How to encourage young people to study？

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?