IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, the people lives are longer and in some countries, there are more lod people than young people Advantages and disadvantages?

#people #lives #countries #lod
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The rapid growth of technology and knowledge, is one of many reasons that allow
people
Use synonyms
 to have a longer life, because
people
Use synonyms
 can get the right treatment and get the information of health more easily. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, in many countries, the number of old
people
Use synonyms
 is more than the number of young
people
Use synonyms
. Having more old
people
Use synonyms
 than young
people
Use synonyms
 in certain countries can have their own advantages and disadvantages, which will be discussed
further
Linking Words
 as follows. There is a statement that says that older
people
Use synonyms
 are a
lot
Use synonyms
 more mannered than young
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, old
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have been through many things and have many experiences. A
country
Use synonyms
 with a
lot
Use synonyms
 of old
people
Use synonyms
 will likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have more embrace their culture and usually more happier. Take Japan
for example
Linking Words
, Japan is known as a
country
Use synonyms
 that possesses more old
people
Use synonyms
 than young
people
Use synonyms
, and Japanese
people
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 known as the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 that still stick to their culture. With so many old
people
Use synonyms
 in the area, it will boost the happiness of other old
people
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the spirit of young
people
Use synonyms
 is more energetic than old
people
Use synonyms
. When old
people
Use synonyms
 tend to feel tired easily, young
people
Use synonyms
 can work almost all day long.
Moreover
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
's willingness and ability are
also
Linking Words
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 more than old
people
Use synonyms
's.
For instance
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 can learn a language or even a program just for a short amount of time,
while
Linking Words
 old
people
Use synonyms
 will struggle and even give up when learning something new, especially something
that is
Linking Words
 related to technology. A
country
Use synonyms
 with a small number of young
people
Use synonyms
 will develop slower than a
country
Use synonyms
 with a
lot
Use synonyms
 of young
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, having more old
people
Use synonyms
 than young
people
Use synonyms
 can have their own advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are that the
country
Use synonyms
 will likely more warmer in culture, and tend to have more happier environment. But the disadvantage
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the development of the area will grow slower because young
people
Use synonyms
 who can do
harder
Add an article
the harder
a harder
show examples
 job and can learn more easily are the minority.
Submitted by ditajulaikaputri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas in a more structured manner, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas.
grammatical range and accuracy
Review and correct any errors in grammar and sentence structure.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: