in many countries people are now living longer than ever before. Some peoplw say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent fo the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Recently, there has been rapid growth in the ageing population around the globe, which yields social issues for some nations.

However

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, it is believed by many that the existence of elderly

people

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could bring potential benefits. Despite the opportunities the elderly

people

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may offer,

this

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essay argues that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. One major drawback of having a high proportion of senior citizens is the increasing cost of healthcare. Generally, elders suffer from one chronic disease or age-related illness that may demand the government to allocate more budget to renovate and construct new health facilities.

Moreover

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, the issue of a massive number of old residents may cause a labour shortage. With declining physical strength and productivity, elders are often no longer suitable for job requirements.

As a result

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this

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scarcity of workers may lead to economic deficiency.

For example

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, Japan is one of the countries with more than 10% of its citizens aged 80 and older, and now its governments are looking for immigrants from overseas to fill their labour demand.

Nevertheless

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, the existence of elderly

people

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is not entirely an unfavourable situation, primarily

due to

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their potential participation in community engagement activities or volunteerism. As elders come into their retirement period, more availability and leisure time will allow them to voluntarily partake in a wide range of activities,

such

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as social or local community events. A perfect example comes from a district in Jakarta in which I lived. The

people

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this

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district always hold an annual food festival that involves elderly

people

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to be the contestants

as well as

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the committees. In conclusion, the fact that ageing citizens may bring healthcare problems and manpower scarcity for the industry clearly outweighs the potential benefit that elderly

people

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will contribute to community or voluntary programs.

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task achievement

Although you covered the question by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages, you need to more substantially develop your ideas in order to fully meet the Task Achievement criterion. Make sure you explore each main point more thoroughly, providing more detailed examples, explanations, and consequences of the ageing population.

coherence cohesion

You have structured your essay appropriately, with clear paragraphs marking the introduction, body, and conclusion. It would enhance your score further if you focused on using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively throughout the paragraphs.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of problems and what measures could be taken to solve them.

Every year, several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?