in many countries people are now living longer than ever before. Some peoplw say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent fo the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, there has been rapid growth in the ageing population around the globe, which yields social issues for some nations.
However
, it is believed by many that the existence of elderly people
could bring potential benefits. Despite the opportunities the elderly people
may offer, this
essay argues that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
One major drawback of having a high proportion of senior citizens is the increasing cost of healthcare. Generally, elders suffer from one chronic disease or age-related illness that may demand the government to allocate more budget to renovate and construct new health facilities. Moreover
, the issue of a massive number of old residents may cause a labour shortage. With declining physical strength and productivity, elders are often no longer suitable for job requirements. As a result
, this
scarcity of workers may lead to economic deficiency. For example
, Japan is one of the countries with more than 10% of its citizens aged 80 and older, and now its governments are looking for immigrants from overseas to fill their labour demand.
Nevertheless
, the existence of elderly people
is not entirely an unfavourable situation, primarily due to
their potential participation in community engagement activities or volunteerism. As elders come into their retirement period, more availability and leisure time will allow them to voluntarily partake in a wide range of activities, such
as social or local community events. A perfect example comes from a district in Jakarta in which I lived. The people
of this
district always hold an annual food festival that involves elderly people
to be the contestants as well as
the committees.
In conclusion, the fact that ageing citizens may bring healthcare problems and manpower scarcity for the industry clearly outweighs the potential benefit that elderly people
will contribute to community or voluntary programs.Submitted by 2024successielts on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Although you covered the question by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages, you need to more substantially develop your ideas in order to fully meet the Task Achievement criterion. Make sure you explore each main point more thoroughly, providing more detailed examples, explanations, and consequences of the ageing population.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay appropriately, with clear paragraphs marking the introduction, body, and conclusion. It would enhance your score further if you focused on using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively throughout the paragraphs.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
