The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#priority #businesses #money #responsibilities

It is widely argued that enterprises should prioritize generating

profits

, and they are not required to have public responsibilities.

While

I accept that

this

perception is somewhat justifiable, I believe that they should

also

conduct their business in a socially responsible manner. On the one hand, the efforts of companies to maximize their

profits

could be beneficial to society as a whole.

Firstly

, the higher the

profits

earned by enterprises, the more taxes they pay to the

governments

Fix the agreement mistake

government

show examples

As a result

, national authorities could have more revenue to invest in key fields,

such

as education and health care, which could lead to an improvement in the quality of life of the whole community.

Secondly

, by earning huge

profits

, firms could grow their business.

As a result

this

could create new job opportunities within the community, which could allow residents, especially the underprivileged, to stand a greater chance of getting an occupation in those corporations, allowing them to earn a living.

On the other hand

, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that businesses should

also

shoulder social responsibilities. The first reason is that their activities have negative effects on the environment.

For instance

, if production processes are not controlled properly, they are very likely to give rise to adverse environmental degradation,

such

as water contamination and air pollution. Another reason is that enterprises should help those who are less fortunate since they have the money to do so.

For example

, major corporations, namely Unilever and Vinamilk, have taken philanthropic actions,

such

as providing scholarships and giving charitable donations, which could not only help those who are in need financially but

also

enhance these companies’ public image. In conclusion,

while

it is irrefutable that making

profits

is of paramount importance to businesses, I would contend that they should

also

put effort into fulfilling their social responsibilities.

Submitted by vietnam.rosy.nguyen on Tue Jun 25 2024

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coherence cohesion

While your essay is well-organized, make sure your main points are always distinct and clear. Avoid repetitive sentence structures to keep it engaging.

task achievement

Although you have well-supported arguments, strive to develop them with a few more specific details or examples for greater depth.

coherence cohesion

Excellent structure with a clear introduction and conclusion that directly address the essay prompt.

task achievement

Well-developed arguments with relevant examples to support your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

profit maximization
economic development
Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
shareholders
moral obligation
reputation
customer loyalty
sustainable business models
accountability
ethical practices
regulations
consumer expectations
economic sustainability
stakeholders
social impact

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The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many doctors say that people in today's would do not do enough physical exercises. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problems?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

in some countries, people are hiring a personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or doing exercise classess what are the reason for this is this a positive or negative develpment

In many countries, parents are deciding to have children later in their lives. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. IELTS Essay Sample Answer (1)