The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, some people believe that the main aim of
science
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development is to enhance the quality of life. Through
this
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essay, I will briefly explain my view for strongly agreeing with
this
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statement, which will benefit society to get better medication quality and increase the community health concerns and lifetime.
Firstly
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, over the past few centuries, we have seen the evolution of
science
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toward medication, from traditional to modern approaches.
This
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development eases the paramedic to get a better understanding of bacteria or virus mutation, and how to increase public life through proper medical treatment from several journals and modern laboratory equipment.
For example
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, the global mortality rate increased significantly from 2020 to 2021 because of covid-19 outbreak,
due to
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limited knowledge regarding the virus incubation.
Furthermore
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, the cure level increased in 2022 after the proper vaccine had been invented by scientists and rolled out by the government.
Lastly
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, together the combination of
science
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and technology improvement could enhance citizens’ health awareness and lead to a longer lifespan. It helps to spread information regarding a healthy lifestyle more efficiently,
as well as
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attracting society to improve well-being.
For instance
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, the existence of a smartwatch increases public willingness to do physical activities both indoors and outdoors, as people can monitor their heart rate, calories burned, and step count. In conclusion,
science
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helps society to get better access to decent medical treatment.
In addition
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, combining it with technology will attract people to do physical activity and lead to a better quality of life.

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coherence and cohesion
Provide clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the logical flow of ideas. Use linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to strengthen your main points, particularly in the discussion of health awareness and technology.
content
Your introduction clearly states your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay structure is mostly clear, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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