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Writing Samples
Band 5

-Some parents believe that learning mathematics at school is redundant and should not be taught while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used later in life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#-some #parents #mathematics #school #life
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Learning Marth seems unimportant at
school
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 for some people and they think that it is
redundant
Correct article usage
a redundant
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 subject so
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should reject it from the
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 and not let teachers teach
for
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apply
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the
children
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.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that
this
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 subject will be useful for every
fields
Change to a singular noun
field
show examples
 in
life
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.
Today's
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In today's
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 essay, I will shed light
both
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on both
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of
Change preposition
apply
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viewpoints and give my own opinion.
Firstly
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, these days, parents are so friendly
for
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to
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 their
children
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 and they do not want to
children
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 struggle not only in
life
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 but
also
Linking Words
 even at
school
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, to obtain
the
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apply
show examples
difficult subjects
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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a
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apply
show examples
math
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.
In addition
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, not every child has
skill
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the skill
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 to learn
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
math
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in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 depth early age and it will
unimportant
Add a missing verb
be unimportant
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 later
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life
Change preposition
in life
show examples
.
Due to
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a
Remove the article
apply
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modern technology or apps, any calculations are not being done by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 anymore.
The
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Consequently
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consequently
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, if
children
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 wanted to be
dngineer
Correct your spelling
engineer
engineers
 or
counter
Fix the agreement mistake
counters
show examples
 in the future, special apps would come to help them to count and
also
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
safe
Replace the word
save
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 their time they performance only
few
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a few
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 minutes.
On the other hand
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, let me take an example by looking at why
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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some people think that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
math
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 plays a crucial role
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children's
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in children's
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life
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.
For instance
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, at
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school
Add a comma
,school
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this
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 would be a fundamental science because some researchers show that learning mathematics at
school
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will prevent a mental illness
such
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 as dementia in later
life
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.
Moreover
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, if
children
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 learned
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
math
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 sufficiently
then
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 they would obtain
anather
Correct your spelling
another
sciences
Fix the agreement mistake
science
show examples
 faster than their siblings.
A
Remove the article
Math
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math
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 helps to train the brain like solving problems. To me, the conclusion
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
math
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 should be taught at
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 around the world because
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it improves
children
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's memory and critical thinking.
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Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 it will be used
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in
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every
fields
Change to a singular noun
field
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such
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 as technology,
counter
Fix the agreement mistake
counters
show examples
 and banks
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by Mr. Big on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and provides a roadmap for the essay. Also, provide a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence.
grammatical range accuracy
Use a variety of sentence structures and be mindful of grammatical errors.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate language.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • redundant
  • foundational
  • practical
  • financial literacy
  • useful
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • logical reasoning
  • analytical skills
  • data
  • statistics
  • professions
  • finance
  • engineering
  • technology
  • scams
  • fraud
  • relevance
  • significance
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