IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are good at or that the find the most interest. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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In my opinion, young
people
Use synonyms
 should focus on all school subjects and discuss
large
Change the article
a large
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 amount of topics as much as they can. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will try to explain my assumption about it.
Firstly
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, at
this
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 age young
people
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 do not really know, what they are good at and they should have a lot of stuff to deal with I mean some different since to create a proper self-image. At
this
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 point, the more they try the better. Important is, that they have to decide what profession they will select, because if we are talking about the profession, it is very important to do things
according to
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 your soft skills, which you are genetically good at. In modern society, we all fight for a good spot in
this
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 world and if you will do what you are naturally not good at,
then
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 you will lose.
Secondly
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, if someone finds something really interesting for them,
then
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 it can be a good hobby, which is
also
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 important in our life.
Also
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 important, is to be in a group of
people
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 the same age as you because if you compare yourself to other youngsters
then
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 it will be easier to see who you are and what are your abilities. I think,
people
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 should focus on one subject or some small amount of subjects much later, at least when they graduate from school and they know themself enough. In conclusion, I would say I gave enough reasons why I think so and explained my idea in a clear way.

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Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity of your main ideas by explicitly stating the counterarguments more clearly. You could dedicate one paragraph to the opposing view, which would help provide a balanced discussion of both sides before concluding with your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve logical flow by using clearer linking phrases between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the essay read more smoothly and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing the importance of focusing on varied subjects, you could mention how this broad education can help in unexpected career paths.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion and you attempt to explain your reasoning throughout the essay, which is a good foundation for your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your language shows some variety, which indicates a developing proficiency. Using different phrases and structures makes the writing more engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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