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Band 7.5

There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extend to you agree or disagree

#live #performance #play #concert #home #television
There is a common belief that it is meaningless to go to the theatre to see a play since it is preferable to watch it on TV. I agree with
this
 statement to some degree. In
this
 ,essay I will debate whether why I agree or why I do not. On the one hand, in terms of the psychological side, it is advisable to take part as a spectator in performances. Because, sometimes it is impossible to comprehend and catch the deep message that actors want to convey to people through the screen.
Moreover
, when watching live, one tends to take incidents that happen in a play more seriously which can deliver a lot of benefits.
Additionally
, taking part in concert with one's significant other rather than sitting on the couch can reinforce the bond between them because of the romantic environment. To exemplify, I dared to acknowledge my love towards my previous crush in cinema after a long time 2 years ago.
On the other hand
, there are
such
 individuals that have a hectic schedule.
Due to
 the lack of time, they are unable to present at parties.
Furthermore
, the citizens who are tight with money can struggle to afford tickets for whom watching at home is the most appropriate version. Sometimes performance time can be at peak hours in which a huge part of the public feels unenthusiastic about getting stuck in traffic.
For instance
,
last
 year my friend could not go to the cinema with me because of the low budget. To summarize, these days people are more prone to stay home and see spectacles. They consider that
this
 is a more efficient way. I partially agree with
this
 opinion because of the reasons that were mentioned above.
Submitted by rashad.ahadli on

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task response
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument effectively. However, some points could be further elaborated to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, setting up the discussion and summarizing the main points. The flow of ideas is coherent, but some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother.
task response
Presents a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of attending live performances vs. watching them at home
task response
Uses personal examples to support the arguments, adding a personal touch to the essay

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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