People are of the opinion that children’s behavior should be controlled by their parents and teachers. Others do believe that children should be free to do as they like. Discuss both views and state your opinion

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People are often argue that young individuals' affirmations should be managed by their guardians,
while
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others think that folks should have complimentary access to everything. I firmly believe that it is an essential to guide
children
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porperly. In
this
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essay, I will explain both perspectives and why I reccomend that the
children
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should be contorlled regard to reasonable assumptions. On one hand, It is important to keep
children
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safe from the fast-paced world.
For
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this
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reason, peers should be under the supervision of their families and teachers.
Thus
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,
children
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should live in a peaceful environment, without the chos of modern world brings.
Moreover
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,
children
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do not have the maturity to handle themselves as an individual, owing to their short-term experinces. That,
for instance
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, a five-year-old child cannot distinguish between a toy and a hazardous object, potentially putting their physical safety at risk without adult intervention.
On the other hand
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, some people think letting folks without the influence of adults is a great opportunity for people to gaining life-skills and learn to take responsibility for their behaviour.
According to
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a study held in the UK,
children
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without the authority of caregivers have a greater variety of survival skills when they become grown adults. In conclusion,
while
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allowing
children
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total freedom might seem beneficial for their creativity, I believe that the guidance of parents and teachers is essential. Without adult supervision, folk lack the maturity to make safe and responsible decisions;
therefore
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, a balanced approach with clear boundaries is necessary for their healthy development

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say a bit more about why some people want strict control and why some want more freedom.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear in each body part. Start each part with one clear point, then explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Use words in the same way all through the essay. Do not change from children to peers to folks.
task response
Give one more clear example for the freedom side. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check linking words. Some are good, but a few lines are hard to follow because of wrong word choice.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use one clear example about a young child and danger.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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