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Band 5.5

In some countries , owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negativbe situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #negativbe #situation
Nowadays, many
people
 prefer to be a
home owner
Correct your spelling
homeowner
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 rather than
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a tenant. There are many reasons why
this
 is the case. Personally, in my
opinion
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,opinion
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 there are both pros and cons
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 situation and I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, I think one of the most important reasons why
people
 choose to own a
house
 is that they don't need to
be worry
Change the verb form
worry
show examples
 about moving to a new
house
 every year. Most tenants are getting annoyed by moving each year as it is too expensive.
Furthermore
, most
people
 prefer to spend
money
 on
mortgage
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a mortgage
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instead
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rent. They believe that by spending
money
 on renting
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
, they are wasting their wealth. I take my parents as an example. They bought a
house
 twenty years ago and now it has only remained five years more to
payoff
Correct your spelling
pay off
show examples
 their mortgage and after they will own their
house
 for the rest of their life.
In addition
, some
people
 think that by being a
home owner
Correct your spelling
homeowner
show examples
 you can show others the quality of your life and be a rich person in their views.
On the other hand
, it is not
much
Rephrase
very
show examples
 easy to own a
house
. You have to have enough
money
 for the down payment in order to buy a
house
. Not many
people
 can afford the expenses to become a
home owner
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homeowner
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specially
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especially
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 young adults who just got married.
As a result
, they ask their parents to help them financially and in some cases the
parent
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parents
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 don't want to reject their kids and will help them even if they are not capable
to
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apply
show examples
and they will go under pressure.
To conclude
, there are both advantages and disadvantages aspects of owning a
house
,
however
, I believe that it should be viewed as a positive aspect as you don't waste your
money
 by buying it.
Submitted by parvane_ava on

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task achievement
Add a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your stance on whether owning a home is positive or negative.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing further explanations and supporting details for your main points.
task achievement
Expand on the disadvantages of owning a home to provide a balanced discussion.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of language.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay closer attention to grammar and sentence formation to avoid errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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