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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case?Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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In many countries,
people
 usually have high expectations for owning a
house
，it is usually a symbol of stability and happiness in life.
Therefore
, most
people
 regard owning a
house
 as the most important part of life. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
 point of view,
this
 essay will explore the reasons for
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of
people
 owning a
house
 and the positive factors for it. Owning a home is a source of stability and security for many
people
. Renting has many uncertainties for
people
.
For example
, the landlord may propose to increase the rent or impose other additional conditions at any time.
In contrast
,
people
 who own a
house
 have more control and freedom, and they can make any modifications to the
house
 without the landlord's permission.
In addition
, owning a
house
 is an irreplaceable sense of belonging for
people
,
people
 live in the same community for a long time,
familiar
Correct word choice
and familiar
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 community life and
neighbors
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neighbours
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 are necessary for the growth and safety of children. As time goes by, real estate prices increase every year, in the future homeowners can make a profit by selling.
For example
, housing prices in Melbourne were usually $800,000
in
Change preposition
apply
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ten years ago, but now the
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 have risen 1-2 times,
Therefore
, investing in a
house
 is an investment that will not depreciate in value. In conclusion, owning a
house
 can not only provide
people
 with a sense of stability and happiness, but investing in a
house
 can
also
 reap wealth benefits, and a familiar community can give
people
 a sufficient sense of security.
Although
 there may be some disadvantages, owning
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
 is a worthwhile goal for many
people
.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure that you organize your ideas effectively with clear paragraphing and include a strong topic sentence for each paragraph. Transition words should be used accurately to connect your ideas smoothly. Additionally, be sure to refer back to the prompt throughout your essay to ensure cohesion.
task achievement
You’ve addressed the main points of the prompt, but to achieve a higher band score, you need to fully develop your arguments with more detailed explanations and a variety of complex sentence structures. Moreover, make sure to directly address all parts of the task, including discussing the positive and/or negative aspects in more depth and with a more balanced view if the question asks for it.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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