Today many children are overweight and unhealthy. Give the reasons for this problem and give solutions to solve it.

There is no denying the fact that today , many
children
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are overweight and unhealthy.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that parents are responsible for their
children
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's health, the
children
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must
also
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accept responsibility.
This
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essay will analyse both the
reasons
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and solutions for
this
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problem
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. On the one hand, there are many
reasons
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why
children
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become overweight nowadays.
First,
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eating unhealthy
food
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is one of the
reasons
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for
this
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problem
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.
For example
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,
children
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do not stop eating fast
food
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.
Moreover
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, they can not stop eating sweets and desserts.
Second,
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children
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do not exercise every day.
This
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is because they are playing video games.
Therefore
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, they are not walking,
or
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apply
show examples
moving, or doing any exercise.
Finally
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, parents do not watch the
children
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every time.
Also
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, the school should give them some advice to lose weight.
On the other hand
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, there are some solutions to stop
this
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problem
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.
First,
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children
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should eat healthy
food
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.
In addition
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, parents should help their
children
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to
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apply
show examples
stop these bad habits.
For example
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, they can only buy healthy
food
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, like fruits and vegetables.
Also
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, they can prepare healthy meals.
Second,
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children
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can do a daily routine to get some exercise.
Also
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, they can go to the
children
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's club to do some training.
Third,
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the school can
also
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help solve
this
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problem
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. They can offer classes in nutrition and offer better
food
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in the cafeteria.
Also
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, they can
by
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apply
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give more fitness classes.
For instance
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, in the morning they can do exercises
and
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, and
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in the afternoon they can do them again. In conclusion, it is clear to see the
reasons
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why
children
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are overweight.
However
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, it must be noted that there are
also
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a few solutions, especially for
children
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, to solve
this
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problem
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.

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content
Task Response: The essay covers both reasons and solutions, but it does not go deep. Add more detail and real examples to show how a cause leads to weight gain, and how a solution can work in real life.
structure
Coherence and Cohesion: Paragraphs exist but links between ideas are not very smooth. Use clear topic sentences and simple linking words (first, then, also, finally) to tie ideas.
content
Clear idea that the problem has causes and fixes.
structure
Good overall shape with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • behave
  • better
  • punished
  • rewarded
  • believe
  • effective
  • arguing
  • immediately
  • unwanted
  • fear
  • pain
  • good
  • actions
  • praise
  • treated
  • learn
  • positive
  • feedback
  • happy
  • feel
  • repeat
  • future
  • create
  • problems
  • rather
  • learn
  • wrong
  • caught
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