49.Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some educators hold a belief that all children should learn to play a certain musical instrument. Despite the disadvantages associated with
students
' hectic schedules, I believe that this
approach is a good way to discover young musical talents and provide healthy pastimes for youngsters.
On the one hand, it is undoubtedly that students
are likely to suffer more pressure when musical subjects are added to the educational program. This
is because this
approach adds more stress to the already burdensome volume of schoolwork. In fact, students
nowadays are often subjected to a busy schedule with a mounting of homework and in-class assignments. Therefore
, adding another subject to their curriculum can make it more difficult for children to study effectively. The situation even gets worse if a child feels frustrated and no longer excited about learning music
. They must be better off using that effort and time to focus on something which they are really interested in.
On the other hand
, it is understandable that learning music
is believed to be beneficial for youngsters. Firstly
, geniuses' musical talent can be discovered at a young age and later developed into a professional career. Dang Thai Son, who learnt the piano from his mother at the age of 6 and became the most Vietnamese successful pianist is an excellent example. Secondly
, in the eyes of adults, learning to play music
is a positive hobby and potentially replaces computer games. These days, teenagers spend most of their time watching mind-numbing television programs and playing digital games. Studies show that spending too much time on video games can produce behavioural and mental changes, leading to a lack of other activities and poor academic performance. Meanwhile, playing music
can improve students
' verbal memory, spatial reasoning and literacy skills. The main reason is that playing music
involves both sides of the brain which strengthens memorial skills.
In conclusion, while
learning to play a musical instrument can bring certain benefits to young people in terms of the discovery of young musical talents and organizing healthy pastimes, it is important to acknowledge its drawbacks such
as increased pressure. It is advisable that musical education should be provided to students
who are really interested in and willing to pursue it rather than imposing it on all children.Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on
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sentence variety
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argument development
To further enhance your essay, consider developing your arguments with more nuanced perspectives. This could involve exploring counterarguments in greater depth or providing a more detailed analysis of why music education may not be suitable for all students.
cohesion
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conclusion strength
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topic introduction
Your essay effectively introduces the debate surrounding music education for children, presenting both sides of the argument clearly.
use of examples
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structure
The structure of your essay, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, adheres well to academic writing standards.
conclusion
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