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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Modern professional women confront a difficulty that men don’t generally face: the struggle to balance the pressures of work and home. In your opinion, how can this difficulty best be ? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own knowledge or experiences.

#women #difficulty #men #don’t #face #struggle #balance #pressures #work #home #experiences
Being an employee, remote work,
housewife
Correct word choice
and housewife
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 absolutely exhausting, but most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 handle and manage both of
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 at the same time. Women tend to relish the process,
go
Correct word choice
and go
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 with the flow
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 what's happening, but
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 other hand women need support from their
partner
Fix the agreement mistake
partners
show examples
, friends, or family. It
also
 depends on their environment
surrounding
Verb problem
apply
show examples
because the moiety of them could face it with society who have matter values equal to that person,
therefore
 it's better and easier
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Achievement
To improve your task response, ensure to provide a clear opinion on how the difficulty of balancing work and home can best be addressed. Expand your argument with more detailed reasoning and specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to enhance the coherence and cohesion of your writing. Using transitional phrases can help to link ideas smoothly.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific examples from your own experience or general knowledge to support your points. This makes your essay more persuasive and engaging.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all parts of your essay contribute towards answering the prompt. This will help in achieving a higher coherence score.
Task Achievement
Recognizing the significance of support from partners, friends, and family in balancing work and home pressures highlights a relevant and often overlooked aspect of this issue.
Task Achievement
Acknowledging the role of the surrounding environment implies an understanding of the broader societal challenges involved. This shows awareness of the complexity of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multifaceted approach
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work
  • maternity/paternity leave
  • cultural attitudes
  • shared responsibilities
  • affordable childcare
  • gender equality
  • workforce integration
  • professional mentors
  • networks of support
  • tailored solutions
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