In some societies, the number of crime committed by teenager is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crime should receive adult punishment. To what extend do you agree?

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Opinions are divided on whether teenagers who commit major

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

should receive the same degree of punishment as

adults

Although

there is an increasing trend of younger crime rates, I believe that teenage criminals should not be punished the same as

adults

. One field in which with proper education those teenagers may make changes and perform better in their

future

lives.

For example

, the young generation has a limited number of real-life experiences and knowledge of laws, if there is a chance available for them to focus on acquiring knowledge about behaviours, emotions, and self-control after they break the law, they may realise that as a member of society, everyone should act in a kindly and responsible way.

Thus

, they may accept these positive suggestions, opinions, ideas, and regular themselves. In

this

way, they become a better individual in the

future

However

, if they are treated the same way as

adults

, and sent to jail, they may learn from bad examples in jail and behave even worse in the

future

For instance

, staying with adult criminals, younger may learn bad stuff and jail provides opportunities for them to know the negative side of the world, and they would experience an even worse community.

As a result

, they may bring more serious troubles to the public in the

future

. So, it is not suggested to punish them the same as

adults

. In conclusion, education can make better changes and avoid getting in touch with the negative person mentioned above shows that teenage criminals should not receive adult punishment, they should be treated differently and separately from

adults

. So, I disagree with

this

statement.

Submitted by careyche on Wed Oct 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

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lexical resource

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grammatical range accuracy

Use a wider range of grammatical structures.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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