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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that universities should only offer places to young students who receive high marks at school. Others think that universities should offer a place to anyone of any age. Discuss and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some
people
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 believe that universities should only accept young
students
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 who have achieved high marks in school, as these
students
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 are often seen as future leaders.
However
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, others argue that universities should be open to
people
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 of all ages. In my opinion,
age
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 should not be a determining factor in university admissions, and everyone should have the opportunity to pursue higher
education
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, regardless of their
age
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. On the one hand, it is argued that older
people
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 may not be suitable for university
education
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 because they might struggle with cognitive challenges. As
people
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age
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, their brains tend to become less adaptable, making it harder for them to learn new concepts and keep up with younger
students
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.
Moreover
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, older
students
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 may ask more questions during lectures, potentially disrupting the learning experience of others.
For example
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, some older
students
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 might require extra time to understand
material
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the material
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, which could slow down the pace of the class.
On the other hand
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, older
students
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 can bring a wealth of life experience and motivation that younger
students
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 might lack. Their passion for learning can inspire others and contribute positively to the classroom environment.
While
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 it may take older individuals more time to grasp new knowledge, their determination and effort are commendable.
For instance
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, many older
students
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 are deeply committed to their studies because they view
education
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 as a second chance to achieve their personal goals. Their perseverance can
also
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 motivate younger
students
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 to take their
education
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 more seriously. In conclusion,
while
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 the debate over whether universities should prioritize young, high-achieving
students
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 or accept
students
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 of all ages is ongoing, I believe that
age
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 should not be a barrier to higher
education
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.
Although
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 older
students
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 may face challenges, their dedication to learning and the positive influence they can have on their peers make them valuable members of the academic community.

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coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. This will improve how clearly connections between your ideas are communicated.
task achievement
Ensure that each point you make is directly backed up with a relevant example or further elaboration. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a more thorough engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are very effective—both are clear and well-written, setting the stage and summing up the discussion nicely.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt fully, exploring both perspectives and providing your own opinion with a balanced view.
task achievement
You’ve effectively acknowledged the attributes and challenges faced by older students, which enriches the argument and provides depth.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic ability
  • rigorous university environment
  • prestige
  • lifelong learning
  • diverse perspectives
  • life experiences
  • resilience
  • unique talents
  • innovation
  • dynamic classroom
  • inclusive classroom
  • mentorship
  • collaborative learning
  • discriminatory
  • access to education
  • equity
  • inclusion
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