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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many business in the world today are run by family members. Do the advantage of family-run business outweight the disadvantages?

#business #world #members #advantage #outweight
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In recent years,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to run businesses with their families. It could be with the nuclear family, core family, close friends, or relatives as well.
This
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 approach is still to be discussed by
people
Use synonyms
 regarding the benefits or detrimental aspects;
Hence
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,
this
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 essay will elaborate on those views. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that a
company
Use synonyms
 which is organized by the family is more trustworthy. Because they have known their relative for a long time and they sure they will not do something harmful to the
company
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.
For example
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,
people
Use synonyms
 who hired an older sister to be an accountant in a
company
Use synonyms
.
This
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 view
believed
Wrong verb form
believes
show examples
 that a person will not be corrupt.
This
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 could happen
due to
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 genetics or the bond that they have. Even though some corporations still have corruption among family-run businesses.
Secondly
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, the reason why
people
Use synonyms
 commence business with
this
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 view regarding the wages for the employee is negotiable. Taking a start-up
company
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 as an instance, as a
company
Use synonyms
 established in a few years, the
company
Use synonyms
 cash flow
tent
Correct your spelling
tends
show examples
 to be unstable.
This
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 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the monthly wages of the employee could be unpaid
at the end
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 of the month, and it is possible to affect their performance. From
this
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 experience, it is commonly believed that
people
Use synonyms
 decide to run a start-up with their family.
On the other hand
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, it is broadly known that a
company
Use synonyms
 that executed with the family is not professional. It could happen
due to
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 not all the family members having the skills that
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 needed. Putting Go-jek as an example,
this
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company
Use synonyms
 has an excellent brand because of its professionalism;
in particular
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 of its products and hospitality.
However
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, if the
company
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 involved Nadim’s family,
such
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 as his wife or his son, I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 it would not be Decacorn as
this
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 day. Because neither his wife nor his son have the ability to organize or support
this
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company
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages to a family-run business.
However
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, it has to fully consider which one that you will go with.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the advantages and disadvantages of family-run businesses, as stated in the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Use appropriate transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with more supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and provides a clear stance on whether the advantages or disadvantages outweigh each other.
grammatical range accuracy
Improve the use of grammar and sentence structures to enhance clarity.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used and use it accurately.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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