IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that social media platforms are becoming the primary source of news for younger generations, replacing traditional forms of journalism. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, some
people
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 argue that social
media
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platforms
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 are attractive
sources
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 of news for the younger generation and offer more benefits than drawbacks,
while
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 others believe the opposite.
This
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 essay will explore both sides, ultimately supporting the idea that
although
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 social
media
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 is convenient, it cannot fully replace traditional journalism. First of all, one of the most important benefits of using social
media
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 is that it has become essential in our lives.
In other words
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, it allows
people
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 to access information easily. Reliable knowledge is widely available online. A study published by The New York Times found that 90% of
people
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 reported improved learning and research through social
platforms
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, as publishing and sharing knowledge has become easier.
Therefore
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, the speed and simplicity of accessing information is a major strength of these
platforms
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.
On the other hand
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, one serious drawback is the rise of misinformation. The internet plays a major role in spreading false messages that can mislead
people
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. Social
media
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 often promotes fake narratives.
For example
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, my uncle relies on chatting with AI and reading unreliable
sources
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, which has made him less informed because he spends hours on incorrect content.
In contrast
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, my younger brother uses credible
platforms
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 and has developed useful skills like research and creative thinking.
This
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 shows the importance of using accurate
sources
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. In conclusion,
while
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 social
media
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 is important for the younger generation as a quick source of news, it
also
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 brings problems like misinformation.
Therefore
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, it is essential to balance internet use with books and other reliable
sources
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader know your view.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas clearly, like 'however' or 'in addition'.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You have clearly stated the topic and explored both sides well.
coherence cohesion
Your points about the benefits of social media are clear and easy to understand.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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