some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While
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some individuals believe that competition in different places
such
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as at work, at school and in daily life is considered to be something good,
others
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think that
people
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should cooperate more,
instead
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of competing against each other.
This
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essay will agree that
people
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should cooperate more rather than compete with each other because it will union their efforts and they could benefit from each other. It is argued that competing against each other at work, at school and in daily life is considered to be a good thing because it encourages us to do our best and the highest potential.
In other words
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, competition has its advantages of making individuals put their highest effort to surpass
others
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and motivate them to continue even when they lose interest in something.
For example
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, many countries,
such
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as China, decide to put posters on school walls of students' ranks among
others
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, which leads many students who have low grades to increase their grades up to 50%.
However
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,
this
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can sometimes harm
people
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's mental health because it puts them under huge pressure.
In addition
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,
others
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think
people
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should more cooperate and not compete, as
this
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makes them contribute to something bigger if they union their effort, creativity, and power.
That is
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to say, cooperation helps individuals to help
others
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, learn from each other experiences, and have a positive and supportive environment that encourages them to share their ideas, thoughts, and solutions.
For instance
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, if employees at the worksite cooperate and help each other
this
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motivates them to contribute more as a team, which may lead to the company's success. In conclusion, despite that competition motivates and encourages
people
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to do their best, I believe members of society should work with each other because it makes a huge difference and
people
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could benefit from other experiences .

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your points and make them clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Revise sentences for clarity and simplicity to improve understanding.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well, which shows understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion in your conclusion, demonstrating your stance on the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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