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Writing Samples /
Band 4

You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter, describe what you enjoyed about the course say how much cooking you’ve done since the course suggest another cookery course you’d like the school to offer

#cookery #course #school #feedback #director #you’ve #you’d #offer
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to send
a
Correct article usage
apply
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feedback on my cooking
course
 which was
Correct article usage
a short
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short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
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course
.
Firstly
,
i
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I
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 must say the
course
 was commendable as it was full of learning new things
to
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for
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 me. I had never done cooking before but now
i
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I
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 cook all the dishes which
i
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I
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 learnt from the classes. Coincidently,
i
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I
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 must say
i
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I
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 enjoyed the time period because of the classes which included
the
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apply
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learning and adapting
the
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my
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 cooking skills.
Moreover
,
i
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I
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 have cooked
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 more dishes till now as
i
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I
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 have done that
course
 3 months ago
till
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apply
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now
i
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I
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 approximately made 70-100 dishes at home. My family and friends
use
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used
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 to praise me and appreciate me for my cooking.
Although
,
i
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I
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 would like to suggest you that kindly offer us to learn about
thai
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Thai
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 food or bakery classes as
i
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I
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 want to learn about making cookies and cake. Yours faithfully Amar
Submitted by amardoc1994 on

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greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are too informal for a letter. Use 'Dear' and 'Yours faithfully' instead.
complete response
The response is complete, but lacks specific details and elaboration.
suitable writing tone
The tone is too informal. Use a more professional tone throughout the letter.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or topic. Divide the second paragraph into two separate paragraphs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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