IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter, describe what you enjoyed about the course say how much cooking you’ve done since the course suggest another cookery course you’d like the school to offer

#cookery #course #school #feedback #director #you’ve #you’d #offer
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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to send
a
Correct article usage
apply
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feedback on my cooking
course
Use synonyms
 which was
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
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course
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 must say the
course
Use synonyms
 was commendable as it was full of learning new things
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 me. I had never done cooking before but now
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 cook all the dishes which
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 learnt from the classes. Coincidently,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 must say
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 enjoyed the time period because of the classes which included
the
Correct article usage
apply
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learning and adapting
the
Change the word
my
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 cooking skills.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 have cooked
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 more dishes till now as
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 have done that
course
Use synonyms
 3 months ago
till
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 approximately made 70-100 dishes at home. My family and friends
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 to praise me and appreciate me for my cooking.
Although
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would like to suggest you that kindly offer us to learn about
thai
Change the capitalization
Thai
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 food or bakery classes as
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 want to learn about making cookies and cake. Yours faithfully Amar
Submitted by amardoc1994 on

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greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are too informal for a letter. Use 'Dear' and 'Yours faithfully' instead.
complete response
The response is complete, but lacks specific details and elaboration.
suitable writing tone
The tone is too informal. Use a more professional tone throughout the letter.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or topic. Divide the second paragraph into two separate paragraphs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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