IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
20 years ago
community
Use synonyms
 socialized actively by gathering in groups and interacting with their neighbours, classmates, group mates, and other society. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 alone rather than being a part of a
community
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will go through the main causes of
this
Linking Words
 situation and
also
Linking Words
 possible opportunities that can help
people
Use synonyms
 socialize. We live in the age of spending the majority of our
time
Use synonyms
 on social media. Capturing websites, well-developed games, and lots of followers on Facebook are the reasons why we prefer virtual life to reality.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they no longer spend
time
Use synonyms
 in different communities or gather in groups. One of the possible solutions to prevent
this
Linking Words
 is the organization of public events where
people
Use synonyms
 can meet with each other and communicate. Public events should be no less interesting than social media platforms,
otherwise
Linking Words
, nothing is going to be changed. Another cause of the problem with the loss of a sense of
community
Use synonyms
 among
people
Use synonyms
 is a very progressive society that prefers to make careers rather than friends. Lots of
people
Use synonyms
 focus on their jobs trying to make more money and
therefore
Linking Words
 spend more
time
Use synonyms
 working and have no spare
time
Use synonyms
 to go out with friends. A possible solution can be creating some neighbourhood activities that will give some space and
time
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 to communicate and know each other better.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are several reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 lose their sense of
community
Use synonyms
. The first one is online communication which is more convenient nowadays. The issue can be solved by creating engaging events that will provide
people
Use synonyms
 with an opportunity to interact with each other. The other cause is developing careerism which takes lots of
time
Use synonyms
, focus, and energy and takes
people
Use synonyms
’s desire to make friendships with their neighbors away. The best solution is providing neighborhood activities which will help
people
Use synonyms
 get to know each other better.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are well supported and expanded upon.
lexical resource
Increase the variety of vocabulary used.
grammatical range accuracy
Use a wider range of grammatical structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: