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Band 6.5

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016
#line #patients #four #clinics
The line graph illustrates the percentage of
people
 visiting four types of
clinics
 in
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
, including
birth
control
,
eye
, diabetic, and dental over a 6-year
period
 between 2010 and 2016. 
It is clear that
 the proportion of
people
 going to
eye
, diabetic, and dental
clinics
 were the most common reasons throughout the
period
 shown,
while
 the average number of weekly
patients
 visiting
birth
control
clinic
Fix the agreement mistake
clinics
show examples
 had a considerable decline. In 2010, approximately 250
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
visited the hospital for
birth
control
clinic
,
while
patients
going
Wrong verb form
went
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
eye
 and dental
clinics
just about
Rephrase
apply
show examples
125 and 100 respectively. Diabetic disease was the less
poplular
Correct your spelling
popular
 choice in one out of four
clinics
, at around 70. In the year 2014, there was a dramatic decrease in the visiting
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 for
birth
control
, at about 180
people
,
whereas
 the number of
patients
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 dental disease witnessed a considerable increase.
However
, the percentage of
people
 who went
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 diabetic
clinic
Fix the agreement mistake
clinics
show examples
 rose slightly
then
 it levelled off over a two-year
period
 from 2012 to 2014, at about 90
patients
. In terms of
eye
clinic
Fix the agreement mistake
clinics
show examples
, having rocketed
dramatic
Change the adjective
dramatically
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 from 150 to 350 in 2016,
also
 the most popular
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
 of
people
. In the same time
period
, diabetic and
birth
control
clinics
 had seen considerable increases, with 170 and 240
patients
 respectively.
By contrast
, visiting the hospital for dental disease had
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
 increase from 100 to 130
people
.
Submitted by baohoanguyenngoc1010 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, clinics, birth, control, eye, period, patients, clinic with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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