Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why?

#parents #children #phones #cell #internet #access #tools #touch #point

Nowadays, the world is changing every second into something better and more advanced. In these uncertain times, many

parents

are comfortable giving their

children

, the freedom of using

smartphones

whereas

some argue it can be a bad influence.

According to

me,

smartphones

are a boon to mankind in

this

era. First and foremost, if not handled with care, these devices can be a nuisance to the

parents

and society. As

children

can have access to anything on the internet, they might get exposed to illegal websites and adult content which is harmful to the entire society.

Additionally

, there are increase in fraudulent activities and

children

can become victims of them. To exemplify, there are incidents where hackers try to lure

children

in via emails and messages.

On the other hand

smartphones

are so advanced these days, that any information about the world can be found with just one click of a finger.

Children

can get great help with their studies and research. There is nothing in the world that the internet does not help us with.

Also

, it saves the cost of hiring a tutor for

children

which makes it budget-friendly.

For instance

, a child can learn a new language completely online without spending loads of money on language tutors just by enrolling or downloading a language application. To support

this

further

, using

smartphones

for several tasks can be time-saving and efficient.

Children

can book an Uber or order food from restaurants in the absence of

parents

, which was an impossible task a few years ago.

Parents

do not have to worry about them if they have

smartphones

because

children

can be independent and safe at the same time.

For example

, there are applications that can track your child’s phone and provide real-time location updates every second. To sum it up, there are

parents

who do not like young folks owning

smartphones

because of increasing crime among the young generation,

while

some trust that for the betterment and safety of their

children

, phones are crucial. In my opinion,

Smartphones

have a lot to offer to

this

generation if used appropriately and wisely.

Also

, to stop growing crime, not only we should keep track of the use of

smartphones

among

children

, but we should

also

permit only legal websites on search engines.

Submitted by stellinchristian2007 on Thu Oct 05 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that the introduction clearly states the writer's opinion on the topic and includes a thesis statement that previews the main points to be discussed.

coherence cohesion

Organize the ideas more logically by considering the use of topic sentences and cohesive devices within paragraphs.

task achievement

Provide more specific and relevant examples to support the main points.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and phrasing to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

381 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

forbid
smartphones
cell phones
Internet access
importance
keeping in touch
negative impacts
development
social skills
engaging
physical activities
glued to a screen
staying connected
communication
convenience
limited access
encouraging
face-to-face interactions
family
friends

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Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweight the disadvantage?

New Technologies change the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages of these changes outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+