IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart provides the information about how families in a countries spent weekly income in both 1968 and 2018

The bar chart provides the information about how families in a countries spent weekly income in both 1968 and 2018
The given graph illustrates the weekly expenses on different
criterias
Correct your spelling
criteria
 in 1968 and 2018. They considered the expenses
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Food, Housing, Fuel and power, Clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, Household
goods
Use synonyms
, Personal
goods
Use synonyms
, Transport and Leisure.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1968, spent on food more than other
catogeries
Correct your spelling
categories
 and at the same time, the lowest spent
Change preposition
on catogery
show examples
catogery
Correct your spelling
category
 was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel and power. In
this
Linking Words
 chart, Leisure was the most spent in 2018, which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
acounted
Correct your spelling
accounted
counted
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 just above 20%
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal good and fuel and power were the lowest spending (under 5%)
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 in 2018. The
socond
Correct your spelling
second
 highest expense was housing, it was close to 20% and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food was next to it. The families spent on transport around 14% in 2018. In 1968, for
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
show examples
goods
Use synonyms
, personal
goods
Use synonyms
 and transport
expent
Correct your spelling
expenses
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount which was around 8%.
Compare
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 to 2018, housing expenses were half in 1968 and
similarly
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
clothing and
foot wear
Correct your spelling
footwear
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 10% in 1968
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 5% in 2018. Household
goods
Use synonyms
 accounted
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 percentage (Around 7%) in both years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words goods with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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