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Band 7

Many working people get little time or no exercise during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

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It is true that many people nowadays have limited time for exercise
due to
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 their work commitments and leisure activities, which leads to physical and mental
health
Use synonyms
 issues. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the underlying causes of a particular phenomenon and propose effective solutions to address it.
To begin
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 with, there are numerous reasons behind
this
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 trend. First and foremost, in the contemporary era, individuals are struggling to make ends meet
due to
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 the significant increase in inflation, which leads them to work long hours.
Additionally
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, workers tend to adopt a sedentary lifestyle,
while
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 working continuously.
Moreover
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,
due to
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 their busy schedules, workers are unable to engage in physical exercises.
Consequently
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, the lack of physical activities invites many
health
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 issues
such
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 as heart disease, obesity, mental problems and so on.
Secondly
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, the rise of urbanization has led to longer commutes, leaving less free time for exercise.
Also
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, after finishing a job, people prefer to spend the rest of their time on social media, which distracts them from their fitness routines.
On the other hand
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, there are several measures that can be taken to tackle
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, if individuals have jobs located within walking distance, they should encourage themselves to walk or cycle, which is a great opportunity for physical activity.
Secondly
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, society should come ahead to solve
this
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 problem. They should develop local initiatives
such
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 as fitness clubs, walking groups, yoga and meditation classes and more.
Apart from
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this
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, the government should
also
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 arrange seminars to raise awareness among the public regarding their
health
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 issues.
To conclude
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,
although
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 employees tend to engage with their hectic work schedules, it is crucial for them to prioritize their well-being.
Besides
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this
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, to address
this
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 issue, they should consume a healthy diet, and engage in regular exercise to maintain their
health
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 and remain disease-free.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the topic and your main points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a clear conclusion that summarizes your main ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more diverse language.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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