IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

fossil fuels are the main sources in many countries, but in some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy are encouraged. To what extent do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

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In some nations, natural resources play a vital role,
while
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 other countries are presumably to alter fossil
Use synonyms
fuel
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fuels
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 with eco-friendly power.From the writer's perspective, the use of new alterations brings tremendous benefits to both citizens and the environment. When it comes to natural resources, it is explicit how expensive these sources are.To put it simply, fossil
fuel
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 is prominent in numerous
field
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fields
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sand
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and
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,
therefore
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,is being exploited continuously.
Hence
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, these sources are not only costly but
also
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 scarce. Using energy which is generated from natural power seems to be an effective strategy as these methods are affordable and can gain financial promotions in the long run. To cite an example, in Vietnam, where most cities are now equipped with solar panels to generate electricity.
This
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 approach successfully curbs the spending budget on electricity. Another point worth mentioning is that alternative sources are friendly to the ecosystem. To be more specific, when humans use natural energy, pollution can be hindered as the generated process does not spark carbon dioxide
emission
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emissions
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.
On the other hand
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, burning fossil
fuel
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 can adversely affect the ozone layer which results in global warming owing to the high rate of toxic waste.
Hence
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, using power from wind and sun reduces harmful emissions
as well as
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 refrains pollution. In conclusion, replacing fossil
fuel
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 with renewable energy is an utmost importance in every nation as it provides financial benefits and protects the environment in a practical way.

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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points of the topic, but make sure to expand more on your arguments to provide a complete response. Adding more detailed explanations and examples will enhance the quality of your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, but it would benefit from clearer topic sentences and better transitions between ideas. This will improve the logical flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which supports the overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You provided relevant specific examples, such as the Vietnam solar panel initiative, which strengthens your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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