Question- Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In our contemporary society, the influential power of
music
is priceless and can effect
relationships. Some societies have a notion that Correct your spelling
affect
music
is one of the most preferable ways to bring people
from diverse backgrounds together. I completely agree with this
idea, and in the forthcoming paragraphs, this
essay will elucidate the reasons why I support this
way of thinking and provide a logical conclusion from my standpoint.
First and foremost, there is no doubt that every single person has their own reasons to find interest in music
. Thus
, the discrepancies between indivudals
who have a wide variety of Correct your spelling
individuals
music
tastes can stem from several factors such
as different personality traits, traditional beliefs, and cultural norms. Even if their grounds differ from each other, they also
have common purposes to listen
to any Change preposition
for listening
kinds
of Fix the agreement mistake
kind
music
such
as entertainment or trying to unwind their mind from the stressors of daily life. Therefore
, in spite of having completely various music
preferences, this
activity can help them in being together, diminishing the potential threats of feeling isolation and loneliness.
On the other hand
, it is clear that
people
from old ages may have interests, hobbies, and tendencies which might not align with young
generation’s penchant, in terms of their social environment and core values. Correct article usage
the young
Although
youth’s predispositions are not similar to the old, they can recommend their own style in
Change preposition
of
music
to Add an article
the elder
elder
generation, making new things acceptable to them and creating a more inclusive atmosphere within communities. Correct your spelling
older
Conversely
, people
of our parents’ age can suggest relatively calm and soothing music
genres which can be beneficial for adolescent’s development of mindset. As a result
, people
of all age groups start to revere diverse perspectives from 7 to 70.
In conclusion, after having meticulously discussed this
phenomenon, it is undeniable that all kinds of music
have boons for people
with unsimilar viewpoints regardless of age range and cultural background. I am a staunch believer that music
is the best way to establish equality and fight against discrimination within societies while
safeguarding peace for the sake of posterity.Submitted by writingbhos on
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Expression
Maintain clear and concise expressions to enhance understanding, especially in complex sentences.
Grammar
Consider diversifying your sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical proficiency.
Vocabulary
Incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to accurately convey nuanced perspectives.
Coherence
Ensure a smooth flow of ideas between paragraphs with more explicit linking phrases for stronger cohesion.
Structure
Effective introduction and conclusion that clearly state your opinion and summarize your argument.
Content
Good use of examples and explanations to support your points throughout the essay.
Task Response
Demonstrates a clear understanding of the task with a well-developed argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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