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Band 6.5

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016
#line #patients #four #clinics
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The given graph illustrates the average number of four
clinics'
Fix the agreement mistake
clinic'
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patients
Use synonyms
 per week between 2010 and 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, all of the weekly
patients
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' numbers
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 throughout the given period of time. In
first
Add an article
the first
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 half of the period, the statistics of
patients
Use synonyms
 who use birth control was the highest,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 half of the
period
Add a comma
period,
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 eye
patients
Use synonyms
 had
the
Correct article usage
an
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 upward tendency. The line of birth control
patients
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 fluctuated
among
Change preposition
over
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 the
years
Use synonyms
, the changes were marginal(no more than 100 each time).
Patients
Use synonyms
 who struggled with eyes
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 slightly increased from 2010 to 2012, but after 2012 it considerably escalated and reached the highest point in 2016. The amount of diabetic individuals who visited a hospital minimally climbed
for
Change preposition
to
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 about 30
patients
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the average number of diabetics remained stable during the
years
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 2012 and 2014.
Then
Linking Words
 it rose significantly. The number of dental
patients
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 differed from
Use synonyms
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
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 to
Use synonyms
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
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 and
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
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 the highest point at 130 in 2016.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words patients, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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