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Band 4.5

Some people think visitors to others countries should imitate local customs and behaviours. Some people diagree; they think the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behaviours #diagree #host #country #differences #two
Certain
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of individuals ponder that foreign travellers need to accept
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 culture and rules
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 another
country
while
 other
people
 opine that
nations
 should allow to ignore any cultural differences for strangers only. In my opinion,
visitors
 should follow
rule
Add an article
the rule
show examples
 of thumb of other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 and my justification will come
on
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in
show examples
further
 paragraphs
along with
 some relative examples. To commence with, there are
severals
Correct your spelling
several
show examples
 pros of accepting
cultural
Correct article usage
the cultural
show examples
 diversity of other
nations
.
Firstly
, local
people
 find
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 and respect from the strangers after that they serve a high quality of service which most
of
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apply
show examples
visitors
 require.
For instance
, if other
country public
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countries
show examples
 wear indian clothes
then
 local
people
 find esteem and happiness.
Secondly
, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 increasing trust between two countries
cultural
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in cultural
show examples
 exchange and business.
Thirdly
,
visitors
 can learn host
country
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country's
show examples
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
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increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
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 their knowledge and build strong
friendship
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friendships
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 among
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.
Furthermore
, native
people
 provide them
cheaper
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with cheaper
show examples
hotel
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hotels
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,
house
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houses
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,
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 and many more products very low price.
Moreover
, the trust of the local
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 and local public increase which help to create
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 environment.
On the other hand
, there are many cons of
allow
Change the verb form
allowing
show examples
visitors
 to not accept their
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
. They can find their comfort zone in other
nations
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they can visit any
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 in future without any hurdles.
Additionally
, they
do
Verb problem
are
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 not
require
Wrong verb form
required
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 to wear different clothes because they
do
Verb problem
are
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 not
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
 to wear them. To give an overview, strangers need to adopt other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
cultural
Replace the word
cultures
show examples
 and customs because
this
 will help their
nations
also
.
However
, local
people
 should provide them
all
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with all
show examples
 the facilities they need to require during their trip.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraph divisions for each main point.
coherence cohesion
Improve your use of linking words and transitions.
lexical resource
Expand on your ideas and provide more explanation and analysis.
grammatical range accuracy
Check your grammar and sentence structure for errors and improve your sentence variety.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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