People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times. What is the cause? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

The 21st century is the era of modernisation. Nowadays there are several individuals who prefer to migrate from their motherland to different countries or cities for better
lifestyle
and
business
growth. In
this
essay, the reasons for changes in life
along with
some examples and views in the favor of aforementioned statement will be elaborated.
To begin
with, the first and foremost cause.
Although
living in the same city for several years gives a sense of safety and relaxation, in today's world, folks want a better
lifestyle
with the hard work to achieve success.
For example
, ample immigrants visit Canada to explore the different cultures which assist in developing various interpersonal skills.
In addition
, migration makes a person independent and ambitious towards the goal of life.
Hence
, in order to have a radiant
lifestyle
, individuals prefer to change their country or city. Moving towards the other reason. Living in the same place for several years prohibits the growth of
business
due to
the advanced competitors. To elaborate, my father's
business
was not growing in India because there were numerous shops who were having fresh talent in sales. After research, we decided to migrate to Canada where my whole family used their skills in the same
business
and achieved success.
Hence
, sometimes it is better to bring a positive change in life to achieve aims.
To conclude
, earlier folks used to stay at their birthland but nowadays numerous people prefer to change their city or country for radiant
business
growth and better
lifestyle
. We can safely conclude from the views that
this
is a positive trend which should be followed by everyone in
this
world.
Submitted by shivaniphg123 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear thesis statement at the beginning of the introduction. It would be helpful to explicitly state whether the trend is positive or negative.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a conclusion that summarizes the main points and presents a final view on whether the trend is positive or negative.
task achievement
The essay would benefit from providing more specific examples and evidence to support the main points.

Your opinion

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