People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times. What is the cause? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

#people #city #lives #change #times #trend

The 21st century is the era of modernisation. Nowadays there are several individuals who prefer to migrate from their motherland to different countries or cities for better

lifestyle

and

business

growth. In

this

essay, the reasons for changes in life

along with

some examples and views in the favor of aforementioned statement will be elaborated.

To begin

with, the first and foremost cause.

Although

living in the same city for several years gives a sense of safety and relaxation, in today's world, folks want a better

lifestyle

with the hard work to achieve success.

For example

, ample immigrants visit Canada to explore the different cultures which assist in developing various interpersonal skills.

In addition

, migration makes a person independent and ambitious towards the goal of life.

Hence

, in order to have a radiant

lifestyle

, individuals prefer to change their country or city. Moving towards the other reason. Living in the same place for several years prohibits the growth of

business

due to

the advanced competitors. To elaborate, my father's

business

was not growing in India because there were numerous shops who were having fresh talent in sales. After research, we decided to migrate to Canada where my whole family used their skills in the same

business

and achieved success.

Hence

, sometimes it is better to bring a positive change in life to achieve aims.

To conclude

, earlier folks used to stay at their birthland but nowadays numerous people prefer to change their city or country for radiant

business

growth and better

lifestyle

. We can safely conclude from the views that

this

is a positive trend which should be followed by everyone in

this

world.

Submitted by shivaniphg123 on Fri Oct 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear thesis statement at the beginning of the introduction. It would be helpful to explicitly state whether the trend is positive or negative.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a conclusion that summarizes the main points and presents a final view on whether the trend is positive or negative.

task achievement

The essay would benefit from providing more specific examples and evidence to support the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times. What is the cause? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

Your opinion

It is important for travelers and business people to understand the cultures they come into contact with. However, briefly. What are the main advantages of doing so? What do you think is the disadvantage of not doing so?

You are going to have a family party in a private room in a hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter, say: ● why you need to use this private room ● what you need them to provide for the party ● inquire about the price of the food you are ordering

Some people fail at school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is, in your opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life?

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems

Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet. But constant availability of any information worsens people's memory and critical thinking skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?