Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. Do you think this is a good thing?

this

modernised era, the populace tends to spend most of their earnings on marriages.

However

, I believe

this

is not the best choice. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate on the reasons for my viewpoint that excessive spending should be stopped. First of all, money is a key factor in living in

this

fast-paced world, as it helps the community to survive in difficult circumstances,

that is

at times of recession.

For example

, when COVID-19 hit the entire world in 2019 the people who saved money survived at that time, but the people who had high expenditures,

such

as on weddings, and travel, were adversely affected.

Secondly

, it is just the happy moment that all love to memories in the future. Because they want to show off to their neighbours,

as well as

their relatives, they spend over the budget, which is absolutely not a wise idea.

Additionally

, poor families cannot afford the richest marriage arrangements, as they have very little income. At the time of marrying the daughters, the majority ask for dowry from the girls' family, which will

otherwise

at times of denial lead to more divorces. Not only

this

, the unwealthy population is forced to spend more spending on marriages, as

otherwise

, no one will keep relations with them.

As a result

, more and more functions are kept for one wedding which

instead

can be completed in a single day. Even though parents spend their best on weddings, still there will be so many people who will be unhappy with the arrangements. All in all, everyone should do all the functions

according to

their own budget, as we cannot make

this

fake world happy. In a nutshell, marriage should be done on the salary of the family members, rather than seeing others.

Also

, those who can afford the richest proposals should not incur much expense in

this

virtual globe.

Submitted by parneetbilling712 on Sat Oct 07 2023

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task achievement

Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position on the topic.

task achievement

Ensure that examples are directly related to the main points being discussed.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Use more transitional words and phrases to improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and concisely.

grammatical range accuracy

Check the verb tenses and use appropriate grammar structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. Do you think this is a good thing?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Every year some languages die out. Some people think that it is not important because life will be easier if there are few languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some countries, using the internet in schools is getting more popular. In this a positive or negative development?

In some countries, university students study near their home and live with their family, while in others students have to study in another city. Do the advantages of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages?

In the request for development, many countries allow their natural environment to be affected. Such a strategy is well worthwhile, and economic development should always be placed ahead of the environment. Argue both sides, and give your opinion.