Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. Do you think this is a good thing?

In
this
modernised era, the populace tends to spend most of their earnings on marriages.
However
, I believe
this
is not the best choice. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate on the reasons for my viewpoint that excessive spending should be stopped. First of all, money is a key factor in living in
this
fast-paced world, as it helps the community to survive in difficult circumstances,
that is
at times of recession.
For example
, when COVID-19 hit the entire world in 2019 the people who saved money survived at that time, but the people who had high expenditures,
such
as on weddings, and travel, were adversely affected.
Secondly
, it is just the happy moment that all love to memories in the future. Because they want to show off to their neighbours,
as well as
their relatives, they spend over the budget, which is absolutely not a wise idea.
Additionally
, poor families cannot afford the richest marriage arrangements, as they have very little income. At the time of marrying the daughters, the majority ask for dowry from the girls' family, which will
otherwise
at times of denial lead to more divorces. Not only
this
, the unwealthy population is forced to spend more spending on marriages, as
otherwise
, no one will keep relations with them.
As a result
, more and more functions are kept for one wedding which
instead
can be completed in a single day. Even though parents spend their best on weddings, still there will be so many people who will be unhappy with the arrangements. All in all, everyone should do all the functions
according to
their own budget, as we cannot make
this
fake world happy. In a nutshell, marriage should be done on the salary of the family members, rather than seeing others.
Also
, those who can afford the richest proposals should not incur much expense in
this
virtual globe.
Submitted by parneetbilling712 on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position on the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that examples are directly related to the main points being discussed.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitional words and phrases to improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and concisely.
grammatical range accuracy
Check the verb tenses and use appropriate grammar structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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