Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. Do you think this is a good thing?

this

modernised era, the populace tends to spend most of their earnings on marriages.

However

, I believe

this

is not the best choice. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate on the reasons for my viewpoint that excessive spending should be stopped. First of all, money is a key factor in living in

this

fast-paced world, as it helps the community to survive in difficult circumstances,

that is

at times of recession.

For example

, when COVID-19 hit the entire world in 2019 the people who saved money survived at that time, but the people who had high expenditures,

such

as on weddings, and travel, were adversely affected.

Secondly

, it is just the happy moment that all love to memories in the future. Because they want to show off to their neighbours,

as well as

their relatives, they spend over the budget, which is absolutely not a wise idea.

Additionally

, poor families cannot afford the richest marriage arrangements, as they have very little income. At the time of marrying the daughters, the majority ask for dowry from the girls' family, which will

otherwise

at times of denial lead to more divorces. Not only

this

, the unwealthy population is forced to spend more spending on marriages, as

otherwise

, no one will keep relations with them.

As a result

, more and more functions are kept for one wedding which

instead

can be completed in a single day. Even though parents spend their best on weddings, still there will be so many people who will be unhappy with the arrangements. All in all, everyone should do all the functions

according to

their own budget, as we cannot make

this

fake world happy. In a nutshell, marriage should be done on the salary of the family members, rather than seeing others.

Also

, those who can afford the richest proposals should not incur much expense in

this

virtual globe.

Submitted by parneetbilling712 on Sat Oct 07 2023

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task achievement

Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position on the topic.

task achievement

Ensure that examples are directly related to the main points being discussed.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Use more transitional words and phrases to improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and concisely.

grammatical range accuracy

Check the verb tenses and use appropriate grammar structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. Do you think this is a good thing?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

this is the police budget and how the money was spent in 2017 and 2018. Make a summary and compare when relevant

Nowadays, more and more children play computer games. Why do you think this is the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that there are constant traffic jams in many cities around the world. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?