IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone.

#group #team #activities #skills #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With
passing
Correct article usage
the passing
show examples
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
,
activities
Use synonyms
 are an essential part of
Add an article
an individuals
show examples
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
 life, most people strongly believe that
team
Use synonyms
activity
Use synonyms
 is better than that of
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others are opposed to
this
Linking Words
 idea, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 strong
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
 on both sides, which I will discuss now. Arguably, there could be reasons why group bustle is common among many inhabitants
due to
Linking Words
exchanging
Correct article usage
the exchanging
show examples
 of panache.
Initially
Linking Words
, if youngsters participate
eclectic
Change preposition
in eclectic
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 of
team
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as basketball or soccer, they can ameliorate their skills
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 life,
for instance
Linking Words
, in
First world
Correct your spelling
First-world
show examples
 countries, numerous bustles are organized for
leisure
Add an article
the leisure
show examples
 time of children
therefore
Linking Words
 most
adolescences
Replace the word
adolescents
show examples
, who are sophisticated.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, group
activities
Use synonyms
 lead to positive aspects as
evidence
Wrong verb form
evidenced
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
by making
show examples
 friends and growth mindset, by which I mean that people can establish collaboration with others
as a result
Linking Words
 their sense of leadership may be enriched. These range from being humble to polymath because they encounter foreigners,
hence
Linking Words
 they
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to learn assorted types of cultures and languages.
For example
Linking Words
, football is famous among other
activities
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
team
Add an article
the team
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, all players are from various countries in order to most players,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can speak multiple
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
. On other coin of the side, there are positive and negative aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 alone
activity
Use synonyms
. Alternatively, owing to
single
Correct article usage
the single
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
game, many individuals can be ambidextrous because they have enough time for
purpose
Correct article usage
the purpose
show examples
 of enhancing of skills. To exemplify,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worldwide, most sportsmen attain a lot of
breakthrough
Fix the agreement mistake
breakthroughs
show examples
 with no one.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we acknowledge
due to
Linking Words
 alone
activities
Use synonyms
, teenagers have
being
Change the verb form
been
show examples
 selfish,
this
Linking Words
meanings
Replace the word
means
show examples
, they think merely
themselves
Change preposition
of themselves
show examples
,
for instance
Linking Words
,
last
Linking Words
 year, many children did not submit their parents. In a nutshell, it is true that attending
on
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
activity
Use synonyms
 with no one is good
however
Linking Words
 I firmly believe that
team
Use synonyms
activity
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial not only to our body health but
also
Linking Words
 to our mental health.
Submitted by @ur_davrik on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Reorganize the essay to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs with supporting examples, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Use more appropriate vocabulary and sentence structures to improve your lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve grammatical range and accuracy.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication skills
  • problem-solving
  • collaboration
  • conflict resolution
  • leadership
  • accountability
  • social connections
  • networks
  • adaptability
  • empathy
  • diverse personalities
  • real-world environments
  • team dynamics
  • group cohesion
  • interpersonal skills
  • delegation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: