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Band 7.5

People who live in busy cities are in many ways at a disadvantage to those who live in rural areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #areas
It has long been a topic of discussion whether living in a contemporary
city
 is less advantageous in comparison with the countryside. I think there is no black and white in
this
 matter,
instead
, each option has its own merits and demerits
due to
 the various reasons.
To begin
 with, I believe
people
 who live in rural
areas
 are privileged to have more green
areas
, clean air, less pollution and
lastly
 they are located far away from the hustle and bustle of a
city
. It is utterly important to acknowledge that these aforementioned factors are the main contributors to sustaining
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 exquisite life.
For example
, many wealthy individuals and celebrities are known to relocate their location to the outlying
areas
 where they can indulge in being surrounded by the beauties of nature and have some other luxuries
such
 as privacy.
Although
 living in the countryside has many benefits, it has its own downfalls as well. As a vivid example of these impediments, the accessibility to the rudimentary infrastructure outweighs all other factors.
On the other hand
, living a life in cities like New York, London, and Tokyo can tremendously benefit its citizens. It is my firm belief that there is a myriad of employment opportunities for
people
 to work and earn a decent amount of salary which is not likely to take place in a rural area where the employment rate is close to zero.
Furthermore
, though contemporary cities are notorious for having the longest traffic jams,
nevertheless
 the ease of access to the vital amenities and infrastructure will not be addressed as an issue. As opposed to that life in a
city
 like New York has become substantially expensive which poses a red flag for
people
 to move to the countryside where still the prices are much more reasonable.
To sum up
,
although
 there are many great environmental benefits for
people
 who opt to stay in rural
areas
, having an opportunity to live in a cosmopolitan
city
 has proved to be a boon for its own citizens.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance coherence and cohesion
coherence cohesion
Provide a more concrete conclusion that summarizes the main points
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your ideas

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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