IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to travel is traveling in a group led by a tour guide. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#travel #group #tour #guide
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Some people believe that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 on a
tour
Use synonyms
 with family or friends is the best method to have fun and relax. I personally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 conviction and will support my argument in the essay below.
At
Change preposition
From
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 one point of view, I find travelling in
group
Add an article
the group
a group
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 very enjoyable, everyone can chat, play games and do everything together.
Besides
Linking Words
, when
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 with a
guide
Use synonyms
, there will be a plan so we just need to follow the available route and don’t need to think too much about transportation, where to stay and where to eat.
In addition
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, the
tour
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guide
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 will draw up a list of places worth visiting and we will not miss any interesting
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
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.
For example
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, in Ha Long, there is Sunworld, Ha Lan Bay, night market, etc. In short, our job is just to enjoy the trip with our family and friends.
On the other hand
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, if we
travel
Use synonyms
 by
tour
Use synonyms
, we will be limited in destination time and many other things. Before, I went on a trip with a
tour
Use synonyms
guide
Use synonyms
 with my class. On the way to the next destination, we encountered many beautiful sceneries but we couldn’t stop because it would affect the route. Even the food at the meal will not be personally selected but will have a pre-made menu. There are
also
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few
Correct article usage
a few
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 cases where
tour
Use synonyms
 guides and their companies have linked up with restaurants and hotels to divide profits without paying attention to quality.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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go
Wrong verb form
I can
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travel
Use synonyms
 alone,
I
Correct word choice
and I
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can choose arrival, do everything that
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
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 disturb to no one. There are
also
Linking Words
 many swing trips that are just for finding new inspiration by changing the living environment for a few days, so there is no need to go with a group or have a
guide
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. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the opinion that the best way to
travel
Use synonyms
 is to
travel
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 in a group and have a
tour
Use synonyms
guide
Use synonyms
 with you. Don't get me wrong, it's not that it's bad, but there are plenty of other options.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt and provide a clear stance (agree/disagree) with supporting reasons.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Organize your thoughts and arguments in a more structured manner.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of synonyms.
grammatical range accuracy
Be more precise with your grammar to improve clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • organization
  • knowledgeable
  • itinerary
  • local customs
  • language barrier
  • freedom
  • flexibility
  • random
  • spontaneous
What to do next:
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