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Band 3

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishments #crime #circumstances #motivation #account #punishment
In the era of globalisation and modern technologies
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more and more activities
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 international
corporations
, and
someone
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 think that it is beneficial for
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
,
however
, others think that it can lead
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
 problems.
Overall
, I would say that there are some plusses in two cases, but mostly I will hope first choice. It is obvious that nowadays is
era
Add an article
the era
an era
show examples
 of a lot of opportunities.
In other
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
 there are a lot of international
corporations
 which increase the quantity of tourists and improve the economics of the country.
For instance
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
 year when Kazakhstan invited people for
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
 exhibition EXPO there came approximately 5 million tourists,
moreover
,
by
Change preposition
according to
show examples
 statistics
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 ministers the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 of the country
uplifted
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 almost 2 times.
Consequently
, by holding
this kinds
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of events, the countries can improve their
economics
Correct your spelling
economies
show examples
.
However
, there are
also
 humans who
are not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
show examples
 with
this
 statement. In their
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 kinds of events can lead
so
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 serious problems
such
 as
dangerous
Replace the word
danger
show examples
 from
sides
Correct article usage
the sides
show examples
 of tourists, and
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
 of
fightings
Fix the agreement mistake
fighting
show examples
 and so on. Statistics
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 2021 year showed that in Indonesia
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increasing international
corporations
also
 uplifted per cent of
fightings
Fix the agreement mistake
fighting
show examples
,
in addition
cause
Correct your spelling
because
show examples
 of
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
corporations
 the war almost started there.
Therefore
 in some
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
 it can lead
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
 kinds of problems. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 there were two opinions, and in my opinion first opinion is more beneficial.
Furthermore
, improving
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 is very useful.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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