In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

The average years of living had been increasing. In many nations, some groups of individuals claim that

this

change has drawbacks,

however

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

believe

this

would have positive effects on society. Admittedly, having more older population puts a huge

burdon

Correct your spelling

burden

show examples

geverments

Change the capitalization

Geverments

show examples

shoulders. The first and most one is providing enough

healthear

Correct your spelling

health care

services for

elderies

Correct your spelling

elderlies

elders

. every

country

Should allocate a sustainable amount of money

for

this

reason.

Thus

, if a

country

has higher older

people

they

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

should divert more money for

this

services

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service

show examples

for example

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apply

show examples

it was reported

last

year, that 15

percent

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per cent

show examples

of the taxes, being paid by British

peoplehas

Correct your spelling

people have

been used for the national health system in the UK.the second

ones

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one

show examples

Add a missing verb

is related

show examples

to paying the pension. The more retired and old

people

, the more money should be paid by

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

for pensions, resulting in pecuniary problems for authorities.

On the other hand

people

who have been living for long years

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apply

show examples

would have valuable experiences, which could share

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

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with

show examples

younger generations. There are many seminars and workshops in every

country

that

Correct word choice

where

show examples

people

with many years

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of experiences

show examples

experiences

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experience

show examples

come and talk about their achievements. Many younger ones find

this

way of sharing

experience

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experiences

show examples

very useful. In conclusion. I personally believe that

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

generation brings both advantages and disadvantages

for

Change preposition

show examples

every nation. If a

country

could manage the financial problems that

this

matter brings, I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by fbagheri285 on Sun Oct 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and includes relevant supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear and concise introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points and provide a clear stance on the issue.

task achievement

Include more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

231 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Fully explain your ideas

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of water and air from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject what are the causes? What will be its effect society?

Many factors motivate people in the workplace. Of these, money is the most important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many employees may work at home with modern technology. Some people claim that it benefits only the workers, but not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?