In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
The average years of living had been increasing. In many nations, some groups of individuals claim that
this
change has drawbacks, however
, other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
ones
believe Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
would have positive effects on society.
Admittedly, having more older population puts a
huge burdon
on Correct your spelling
burden
geverments
shoulders. The first and most one is providing enough Change the capitalization
Geverments
healthear
services for Correct your spelling
health care
elderies
. every Correct your spelling
elderlies
elders
country
Should allocate a sustainable amount of money for
this
reason.Thus
, if a country
has higher older people
, they
should divert more money
for Correct pronoun usage
it
this
services
. Fix the agreement mistake
service
for example
, ,
it was reported Change the punctuation
apply
last
year,
that 15 percent
of the taxes, being paid by British Change the spelling
per cent
peoplehas
been used for the national health system in the UK.the second Correct your spelling
people have
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
related
to paying the pension. The more retired and old Add a missing verb
is related
people
, the more money should be paid by government
for pensions, resulting in pecuniary problems for authorities.
Add an article
the government
On the other hand
, people
who have been living for long years,
would have valuable experiences, which could share Remove the comma
apply
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
younger generations. There are many seminars and workshops in every Change preposition
with
country
, that
Correct word choice
where
people
with many years Change preposition
of experiences
experiences
come and talk about their achievements. Many younger ones find Fix the agreement mistake
experience
this
way of sharing experience
very useful.
In conclusion. I personally believe that Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
older
generation brings both advantages and disadvantages Correct article usage
the older
for
every nation. If a Change preposition
to
country
could manage the financial problems that this
matter brings, I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.Submitted by fbagheri285 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and includes relevant supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear and concise introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points and provide a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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