In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

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The average years of living had been increasing. In many nations, some groups of individuals claim that

this

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change has drawbacks,

however

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other

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others

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ones

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apply

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believe

this

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would have positive effects on society. Admittedly, having more older population puts a huge

burdon

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burden

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geverments

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Geverments

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shoulders. The first and most one is providing enough

healthear

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health care

services for

elderies

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elderlies

elders

. every

country

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Should allocate a sustainable amount of money

for

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this

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reason.

Thus

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, if a

country

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has higher older

people

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they

Correct pronoun usage

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should divert more money for

this

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services

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service

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for example

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apply

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it was reported

last

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year, that 15

percent

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per cent

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of the taxes, being paid by British

peoplehas

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people have

been used for the national health system in the UK.the second

ones

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one

show examples

Add a missing verb

is related

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to paying the pension. The more retired and old

people

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, the more money should be paid by

government

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the government

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for pensions, resulting in pecuniary problems for authorities.

On the other hand

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people

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who have been living for long years

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apply

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would have valuable experiences, which could share

them

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apply

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with

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younger generations. There are many seminars and workshops in every

country

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that

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where

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people

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with many years

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of experiences

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experiences

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experience

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come and talk about their achievements. Many younger ones find

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way of sharing

experience

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experiences

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very useful. In conclusion. I personally believe that

older

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the older

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generation brings both advantages and disadvantages

for

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every nation. If a

country

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could manage the financial problems that

this

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matter brings, I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by fbagheri285 on Sun Oct 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and includes relevant supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear and concise introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points and provide a clear stance on the issue.

task achievement

Include more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

231 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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