Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today's fast-paced world, the availability of natural
resources
is becoming questionable
due to
their exploitation. In order to keep it available, it is necessary to explore remote areas and unexplored places. In
this
context, the merits of
this
situation outweigh the demerits. On the one hand, discovering and utilizing remote areas to explore natural
resources
opens a window for local people and the government.
Moreover
, it can escalate the job opportunities for the locals and it can help them to upgrade their lifestyles. Apart from that, it will change the infrastructure of the area leading to a development.
Additionally
, the government can take revenue from the
resources
which increases the national economic growth.
For instance
, the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge had huge oil
resources
and the area was explored to gain profit and became one of the major onshore exporting
hub
Change to a plural noun
hubs
show examples
.
On the other hand
, a massive disadvantage of exploration is the disturbance to the local ecosystems. Drilling the pristine environment in search of
resources
can disturb the habitat of living creatures.
However
, the irreversible damage to the ecosystem can lead to climate change and its consequences. Pollution
also
contributes to
this
irreversible damage. In the long term, there is a significant environmental disruption compared to the short-term benefits.
To sum up
, even though there is a threat to the natural ecosystem, natural
resources
have to be discovered by exploring remote areas because gases and oil have become part of life globally. The government and policymakers should encourage sustainable practices without disturbing the natural ecosystem.
Submitted by drnivyamohan1992 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic effectively, outlining both advantages and disadvantages. Consider providing more specific examples or data to enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph sticks to a single main idea to improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
task achievement
The essay discusses both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced approach.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • fostering innovations
  • renewable energy sources
  • energy security
  • geopolitical tensions
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental risks
  • habitat destruction
  • irreversible damage
  • perpetuates dependence
  • transitioning
  • indigenous and local communities
  • ethical and social challenges
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