In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

It is often said by most people that the most common factor behind the results of a company lies in how smooth the communication is between different levels of the hierarchy.
However
, there are other people too who feel that bonuses play a dominant aspect in the success of a workplace . In
this
essay, I will try to highlight the reasons why an effective balance between the two can help the company achieve and even surpass its desired results. To commence with, there is no doubt that the free flow of communication is the most important factor behind the benefit of an organisation. When people are able to address each other regarding the positives and negatives they are facing, it will not only help them to make things easier for themselves but will
also
help in improving the situation.
For example
, If an employee is facing a problem with his manager, having a skipped meeting with a director can help them resolve the issue. The smoother the ways are to arrange meetings between different levels, the better the outcome will be for the workplace. Others feel that apart from the factor highlighted above, variable incentives play a vital aspect in the success of a company. They feel that incentives and effective performance play a direct role in the success of an organisation. With bonuses coming into the picture, employees will be willing to surpass their capacity as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
and will work hard for the firm to achieve their desired results.
Finally
, easy communication and incentives both play a mammoth role in the victory of an organisation. If any of the above points are not taken care of, it will result in a negative way.
Submitted by caamandeepsinghsaluja on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You presented a balanced view on the importance of communication and bonuses in organizational success, which is commendable. However, try to elaborate further on each point to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Enhancing your conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed in the body paragraphs can reinforce your argument and leave a lasting impression.
coherence cohesion
Improve your introduction by briefly mentioning the key points you will discuss in the essay. This prepares the reader for the flow of your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view on the topic, addressing both sides of the argument clearly.
task achievement
The examples you used, especially about the issue resolution through skipped meetings, are relevant and help illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with separate paragraphs discussing distinct ideas, making it easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication channels
  • collaboration
  • productivity
  • workplace harmony
  • issue resolution
  • escalate
  • organizational culture
  • motivation levels
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • feedback mechanisms
  • performance evaluations
  • fairness
  • transparency
  • criteria
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!