Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

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It is true that
peer
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pressure
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plays an essential role in the lives of adolescents. Some
people
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harbour a belief that can generate some disadvantages to affect their behaviours.
While
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I partially agree with
this
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statement, it is
also
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a controversial issue that deserves an in-depth discussion. On the one hand, one of the main arguments to
this
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favor
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favour
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is that
peer
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pressure
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can cause
people
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to do things they would not do with the hope of fitting
to
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into
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the same age group or being noticed.
For example
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,
people
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might bully others in the class to try to please others.
Moreover
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,
according to
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research from the Ministry of the Interior in Taiwan, it shows that
peer
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pressure
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or the desire to impress their peers can cause a teen to take risks on things they are not willing to do , over 68% of adolescent crime in Taiwan
also
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relates to the
peer
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pressure
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. These indicate that the influence of the same age group indeed brings some effects.
On the other hand
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,
peer
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pressure
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can be necessary for young
people
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and create good values. One of the reasons is that young
people
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usually have more emotional support from their friends or the same age group of
people
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;
Also
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, friends can help adolescents create a sense of positive competition in their behaviors.
For instance
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, two friends might put positive
pressure
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on each other to go to study together and encourage each other to keep
on
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to on
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good standard. In summary, there are more pros than cons in influencing youth actions
due to
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peer
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pressure
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.
However
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, I believe establishing the correct view and values might be more imperative, which can teach them to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wrong decisions and understand relationships.
Submitted by 21280370.mao on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Further develop your introduction by clearly stating your position on whether the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each main point is supported with evidence or examples to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully address the question prompt by providing a balanced analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure.
Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary your sentence structure to enhance your lexical resource and grammatical range.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • behavior
  • age group
  • peer pressure
  • distinct
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • motivate
  • excel
  • positive behaviors
  • substance abuse
  • bullying
  • risky activities
  • belonging
  • acceptance
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • low self-esteem
  • conform
  • individuality
  • personal growth
  • decision-making skills
  • situations
  • resist
  • healthy balance
  • personal development
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