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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #talents #sport #music #child #sports #person #musician
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People
 have different views as to whether any juvenile can be educated to be an excellent athlete or musician. In my opinion, despite some individuals being born with special gifts and others not, I firmly believe that they can be trained and become as good as those
people
. On the one hand, it is commonly believed that some humans are born with special skills for two reasons.
Firstly
, it is because of their natural abilities, which
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
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they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 to train for a certain amount of time and still have outstanding performance.
For example
, Lionel Messi is one of the
most
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apply
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best, successful, and talented football players,
although
 he trains in the same method as all of his teammates and does not try as hard as the others.
Secondly
, genes could play an essential role in
this
 case. To illustrate, if the parents are tall,
then
 their children tend to be tall as well, which is useful for them in several sports
such
 as basketball and American football.
On the other hand
, there are two main reasons why certain talents can be developed.
Firstly
, the most essential factor is discipline. To be more precise, there is evidence that a normal person could become a champion or win major competitions with effort and dedication, namely Cristiano Ronaldo and Roger Federer.
Moreover
, mindset and mentality are crucial to be at the same level as those talented
people
.
For instance
, a standard person should trust and remind himself all the time that nothing is impossible, encouraging himself not to give up. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that there are
people
 who are born with skills that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other does not have, I genuinely believe that those skills can be
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
.
Submitted by pandin21 on

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task achievement
The essay outlines and discusses both views and also gives your own opinion, which meets the task requirements effectively. However, to enhance the quality of your essay, ensure that all ideas are expressed more precisely and comprehensively. For example, the explanation of genes playing an essential role could be expanded further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to another. The structure of your essay is clear and coherent, but a bit more seamless transition between the points discussed could improve the overall structure. For instance, the transition between discussing natural abilities and genes could be made smoother.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, which are very helpful in supporting your points. Continue to include specific examples, but ensure that all of them are accurately described and detailed. For example, mention what makes Lionel Messi's training methods unique compared to his teammates.
coherence cohesion
You have done a great job at presenting a clear and structured essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. It is easy to follow your line of reasoning.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively. Mentioning renowned athletes like Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Roger Federer gives real-world relevance to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate talent
  • Nurture
  • Prodigy
  • Proficiency
  • Deliberate practice
  • Physiological factors
  • Grit
  • Perseverance
  • Cultural norms
  • Structured training
  • Physical predisposition
  • Natural aptitude
  • Dedicated training
  • Societal influence
  • Passion
  • Genetic endowment
  • Skill acquisition
  • Expertise
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Mastery
  • Cognitive abilities
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